à la folie (To Insanity)

Chapter 3- Raven

I am still lying on Jackson's bed when someone knocks on the door. “Jackson, are you in there?” The voice sounds familiar, like my sister. I slide out of the bed and use the wall to brace me as I push myself to the door, I need to find out if she is still alive. Jeanne and I havent seen eachother for nearly a year now. She could be dead or maybe this is her outside the door. She calls for Jackson again and knocks. The metal of the door handle is cold as I grasp it firmly in my free hand. The door opens slowly and I stand in disbelief, staring at the person in front of me. I have a million things going through my mind right now and I can't process what's going on. Jeanne, I think, is standing outside the door. A bruise covers the left side of her jaw and she has a deep, still bleeding cut running across her forehead and into her hairline. Her hair has been cut shorter than it was before and her blue eyes look troubled as she stares back at me. 

Jeanne recovers from the initial shock of this unlikely situation, and moves towards me, wrapping her arms around my body. I notice she has a tattoo on the back of her neck that wasn't there before. “I...I didn’t think you’d end up here, not after what happened to the last one like you.” I'm puzzled by this and go to ask her what she means but I hear footsteps coming towards us. Jackson turns the corner and stops, looking at us as we stand here. 

He finally speaks, “What are you doing up?”Jeanne turns at the sound of his voice and lets me go, I wasn't expecting it. I fall against the wall and grab onto the first thing I can, the door handle. Jackson furrows his brow and rushes to steady me. He wraps his arm around my waist and helps me back to the bed. I slowly sink back down and notice Jeanne is looking at me strangely. 

“When did you two meet?”

I am confused by Jeanne’s question, she is staring at me as if seeing me for the first time. It's strange to see her again, I'd almost forgotten how her mind works. She was never able to figure me out though, she says I change too much. Then it hits me, I never tolerated physical contact. Even when we were kids, I would push people away. She looks between us and finally sees something, because she goes to leave. Jackson stops her, asking why she came. 

“I came to see you for this.”

She touches her head, right next to her cut. Jackson pulls away from me and reaches onto one of the shelves of his bookshelf to grab his medical kit. He cleans her wound carefully. As I watch him, I notice that the concern that he has in his eyes when he's with me is not there. He doesn't think of Jeanne in the same way he thinks of me. I release my breath, I don't remember holding it. He finishes cleaning her wound and injects her with something before he stitches it closed. Jeanne leaves as soon as he's done.

Jackson helps me up and we walk together out of his apartment. He leads me down a few hallways until we are standing outside of a set of double doors. My heart speeds up and I feel sick, I haven't meet anyone here except for those who were in my group and Jeanne. There are sounds of chatter from the other side of the doors. I can't make out any of what's being said, everything is mixed up. I barely hear Jackson when he tells me that were going in to grab some food and meet some of the others that live here. He pushes open one of the doors and the room goes silent, everyone turning to see us as we walk in. Someone finally stands and walks over. It's Angie, and Dan follows her reluctantly. Jackson tightens his arm around me as more people crowd around us to introduce themselves. Most, however, stay away from us and stare as Jackson leads me over to a table with a few people he knows. They welcome us and move over to provide room for both of us. 

I sit next to Matthew and the end of the table. Jackson asks me what I want and I ask for something to drink and some toasted bread. Matthew moves to permit Jackson to sit next to me when he comes back with the food. I can't eat much, even though there's barely anything on my plate. Jackson takes my hand firmly in his under the table. I just want out of here, it's too crowded. The more people there are in here, the more people are staring at us. It makes me nervous and I am about to get up, but Jackson stops me.

“Let's stay for another few minutes, the conversation shouldn't involve us for much longer.”

When the others tire of conversing with us, it doesn't take very long as Jackson promised, he helps me up and leads me out of the crowded room.

“I have something to show you, and you're not going to like it.”

We set off into the cold stone tunnels. The first few halls we pass are empty, others are bustling with people. Then Jackson stops in front of a plain wooden door, his jaw clenches and when he places his hand on the door handle, he doesn't open it right away. I put my hand on his and we open the door together. I can't tell why he didn't open it, until the lights turn on, the room is cold and the walls are covered in slips of paper and pictures. He leads me over to one section of the wall and reaches out to touch one. My eyes follow his hand until I see the paper he's touching, there are small words written in my mothers hand. Jackson pulls it down and hands it to me. His hand shakes as he reaches it out to hand me the paper.

I reach out and take it, slowly. I don't want to read it, afraid of what it means. I've heard about places like these, people passing through safehouses like this leave notes to lead their family back together. Or to tell that someone died. 

I can feel Jackson's eyes on me as I tentatively smooth out the paper and hold it closer to my face to read it. It crinkles as I smooth it out and I can feel how old it is, I'm afraid the brittle paper will break apart if I'm not careful. 

“Your father and I are going with a small group of others at the request of the Government. It is a necessity to save you and your sister. Please stay safe. I love you girls.
                                                                    -Mom” 

I can't process what I just read. This couldn't have happened. They said they'd see us after the raids were over. They couldn't have left without us. My body goes numb and I lose control.