Messed Up

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I can't even cry.
I'm feeling so empty that I can't even feel sad.
At least when I'm sad, it's because I'm feeling too much, and it lets me release my emotions.
I don't want to feel nothing. I want to feel something.
Even if it's sadness.
Even if it's anger.
I just want to feel something right now. I feel like a blank slate that no one's ever written on for fear of messing it up. Well, I want to be written on. I don't care if I'm "messed up". I just want to written on.
I want to be covered in words and emotions and feelings. I want to be covered with love and peace and hope and joy and... everything.
I want to feel again, even if it means I'm messed up
and dirty
and stained.

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