Breaking Down

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Why is it that I wait until night to fall apart? Why do I wait until I'm in my room with the door shut and the lights off to break down?
Why do I cry myself to sleep more often than not?
Why am I so sad so much? Why have I not been feeling anything lately? Why do I feel like I'm not really here and like nothing matters and my life is just a waste of time? Why do I feel like such a waste of space?
Why do I hate myself so much?
Why am I so afraid to ask for help when I know all of this is tearing me apart?
Why is it that when I open up to people I don't fully open up to them? Why have I never told anyone things that I've thought about doing, but never done? Why haven't I told anyone?
Why am I so afraid and anxious and sad all the time?
Why do I feel so, so bad when I mess up?
Why can't I accept compliments?
Why do I put myself down for every little thing I do?
Why do I hurt myself?
Why?








Author's Note
I don't like it when I cry in front of people, so I always wait until I'm in my bedroom in the dark with the lights off and the door locked.

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