The Light in the Dark (Completed)

You Don't Understand

You really don't get it, do you?
This isn't something that can be fixed just by walking around or talking about it or writing it out.
If it was, I would be okay by now. But I'm not.
I've never been okay, and that's the problem.

And I know it hurts everyone around me, but I hate myself so much that I don't understand how anyone could even remotely care about me.
Literally nothing makes me genuinely happy anymore.
Nothing helps, nothing works, nothing calms me down.

I don't, no, I can't see myself being successful or having a future outside of this. Everyone will just leave me because of how annoying and selfish and whiny I am all the time.
Why would anyone love or care about me anyway?
I've never done anything good enough.
Nothing's ever good enough.

Author's Note
The biggest issue about mental illness, for me, at least, is that nobody actually gets it. Yes, you can have similar experiences, but nobody will ever truly know how you feel. Even if you try to explain it to someone, they can only understand it based on what they've experienced. It makes it even harder that most mental illnesses are diagnosed by a set of symptoms that were compiled based on what most people experience. There's such a wide variety of symptoms that can show up in multiple illnesses simultaneously, so it's difficult to know exactly what someone is dealing with.