Shawn Mendes Imagines

Endless p.2

{Y/N's POV}

"Why is it not better?" I asked the sky, bringing a cigarette to my lips. "It should be better by now, shouldn't it?" I shivered and brought the blanket closer to me.

The TV played from the living room, the sound blaring through the open window.

"Shawn Mendes, everyone!" James Cordon yelled as the crowd cheered and screamed. I didn't break down like I usually would at the sound of his name, I just sat there. Numb.

"I guess I'm improving." I smiled to myself.

"So, How have you been for the past few months?" He cleared his throat and began speaking.

"I've been good, it was tough getting over the breakup, but it was a mutual decision that we both agreed to," I could tell he was grinning, at least he's happy.

"I'm glad, so now you're single, anyone else you've got your eye on?" The crowed screamed loudly as Shawn laughed.

"Not at the moment, no. But maybe in the future," he said.

"But maybe in the future." I mimicked him with a loud scoff.

"You and Y/N are still on good terms, correct?" He asked him. Shawn hesitated before answering.

"Yeah," he lied. "Yeah, we're both fine," I slammed the window shut and looked out at the lit up city. Cars drove in and out of the apartment parking lot, every time I think it's the familiar black car I'd drive around in with him. But it never is.

"Y/N, your cousin is here. Want me to send him up?" I smiled at the thought of my cousin coming to see me, he's always been there throughout this breakup. I opened the window and strolled over to the door and pressed the buzzer.

"Yeah, please." I said. A few moments later there was a knock at the door. I grinned and opened the door "Mat- what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Please hear me out-"

"You're not my cousin." I said bluntly.

"If I said my real name would you let me up here?" I rubbed my eyes and shut them tightly. This has to be the alcohol and the drugs; I'm imagining it.

"You're not here," I mumbled.

"Y/N, are you drunk? A-and high?" He looked into my bloodshot eyes.

"You're a hallucination, right? That's a side effect. That's all you are-"

"No, Y/N. I'm really here, I want to explain myself to you," He said calmly. I didn't reply; I couldn't. I just stood silently, waiting for him to move. He took a deep breath.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"No," I shook my head.

"Right," he sighed. "I wanted to check up on you, Y/N. I know what you're like, and how unstable you probably are right now." He said.

"So you only came to check up on me?" I asked. A part of me wished he would apologise, tell me he still loved me.

"Yeah, what did you..." he paused. "Oh, Y/N. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you think otherwise." He apologised with a sincere look in his eyes.

"Well, I'm fine. So you can leave now," I spat harshly and grabbed the door handle. He put his foot in the doorway so I could close it and put his hand on the door.

"You need help, Y/N." He said firmly and removed his foot.

"I don't need anything, Shawn." I snapped and slammed the door. There was a long sigh followed by footsteps.

The headlights reappeared outside for a few seconds before disappearing once again. I got back out onto the roof and sat down.

"Well?!" I yelled at the sky. "Is this your way of making it better? Is this my closure?" I scoffed. I wonder what the neighbours are thinking. I pull the sleeves of my hoodie over my hands and silently cry.

"Because it isn't working."