Open This When...

chapter twenty-eight

Kayla and Sarah left earlier this morning, and my parents are at work, so I'm alone again. My head hurts from the crying and the coffee, and I feel like I could sleep a few more hours. But I decide to go for a walk instead. The winter air is icy, but it feels nice and it seems to be helping my head. My phone buzzes, it's a text from mom.
Just texting to see if you're doing ok, call me if you need anything. I love you.
I'm doing good, and I will. Love you too. My dad sends me a message next.
I hope you're doing ok, love you.
I am, love you too.  It's started to snow, so I turn back and head home. When I get in, I make hot chocolate and grab a book. I settle into the chair and Callie jumps into my lap, settling in before falling asleep. By noon, mom and dad are home because of the weather.
"The weather is getting bad. I bet you won't have school tomorrow." Mom says.
"We have at least a foot and it's still coming down." Dad adds.
"Promise me you guys won't go anywhere unless you have to."
"We won't, don't worry." Mom says.
"I'm glad we got home when we did. It's turning into a blizzard out there." I look out the window, it is snowing harder than it was before.
"I'm glad you did, too." I say, hugging them. "I think I'm going to take a nap." "Okay, honey, I'm sure school will be closed tomorrow, but if it isn't, you can stay home if you don't feel up to going."
"Okay. I love you guys."
"We love you too." They say together. I go upstairs and get into bed, snuggling beneath the covers, Callie is curled up at the foot of my bed, sleeping. It doesn't take me long to fall asleep.
                                *******
I jolt awake as police sirens scream down the road. It's getting dark and it's getting cold. I get up and pull my robe and slippers on. I'm shaking, and I'm not sure if it's from the sirens or the cold. I go over to my desk and get the letters. I pull one out; open this when you need a hug. I open the bright blue envelope and slide the letter out.
Dear Emma, I can't give you a real hug right now, so consider this letter a virtual hug, or, a hug on paper? I'm not sure, but, whatever is going on, it will get better, I promise, or, if you're ok and just need a hug, I'm here for that too. I love you with all my heart and will never get tired of your hugs, you give the best.
Love, Eli. 
I fold the letter back up and slide it into the envelope, then, I head downstairs. Mom is cooking dinner and dad is watching the weather.
"There you are, Emma, have you been asleep this whole time?" Mom asks. I nod. "I hope you're feeling better."
"I am."
"Good! Are you hungry?"
"Yes."
"Okay, dinner will be done soon."
"School and work are closed tomorrow." Dad says.
"Oh, good." I look out the window, it's still snowing. I go in the living room and sit in the chair.
"They're saying we'll get three feet. I personally think we'll get a bit more." Dad says.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, it's been snowing all day, and it's only twenty degrees."
"Oh, wow." I say.
"I know, it's the coldest day of the year so far."
"Snowiest, too."
"This is the first snowstorm of the Winter. They're calling for one more before Christmas, they think the twenty-second, so two more weeks."
"I'll be on Christmas break then."
"Yes, you will."
"Dinner is done!" Mom yells.
                               ********
That night, I toss and turn, I tell myself it's because of the nap I had earlier, which is partially true, of course, but it's something else, too, I can't put my finger on what, though."  I give up around two and get another letter; open this when you need some love.
Dear Emma, you don't even have to ask, loving you is so, so easy, but, if you chose this letter, it means I'm away at college and can't give you the love you deserve. I'll be back before you know it, but until then, know that I'll always love you no matter where I am.
Love, Eli.
For about the millionth time, I wish he was away at college, only a phone call or text message away. I put the letter back and lie down, it takes hours for me to feel tired enough to sleep, and I don't get to sleep until nearly six in the morning. Nearly three hours later, I wake up entirely too early, my mouth dry and my head pounding from lack of sleep, my eyes feel heavy, and I shut them, trying to no avail to get back to sleep. The only good thing that came of falling asleep so late is that I had no dreams, no nightmares. I lay in bed for a few more hours before getting up to make breakfast and coffee.