Loving River

Loving sixteen

"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart."

"You speak to me in words and I look to you with feelings."

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

Semmy Carson

After years of being in love with River Allen,

I was finally kissing him.

A magical warm aura formed around us as if we were in some sort of fairytale. Once his soft lips touched mine, a prickling sensation flowed over my skin and through my entire body; making my insides scream for him. My heart raced around due to the happiness and passion that I received, I was almost afraid that he heard every single beat.

Our lips fell on one another like two puzzle pieces; we fitted perfectly together. His lips felt nothing but soft and tasted like sweet strawberries. He parted my lips and slowly pushed him tongue inside my mouth, creating a weird pleasurable feeling in my stomach. Only this boy had such a huge effect on me.

His arms wrapped tightly around my waist, pulling me closer in the progress as I automatically threw my arms around his neck. One of my hands played with his soft brown hair, getting a low hum from him. Being in his arms, gave me a feeling of safeness and comfort.

Man, I was so deeply in love with this boy.

After that he let me go of me as he slowly broke the kiss.

I didn't want this to end.

In his deep gray eyes I could see the bewildering and confusion hiding within his irises. His lips were slightly parted and swollen from the kiss and his gorgeous hair was a bit messy.

The look that he gave me spoke like the chapters from a book, and it wasn't in a good kind of way.

"Sorry Sem I- I- d-didn't mean to do that" He spoke up, looking at me with wide eyes.

"What? D-didn't you like it? W-was I b-bad?" I rambled scared of what was about to happen, feeling a bit confused.

I couldn't lose him, not him too.

"No that's not it.." He sighed soft.

"Then what is it Riv?" I asked him, feeling sick to my stomach.

"I didn't mean for this to happen. It was a mistake" He told me, looking me dead in the eyes.

A mistake.

I could feel my heart drop to the ground all over again, shattering into tiny sad pieces unable to be healed again. My face fell in disappointment and rejection as my stomach clenched itself by his words.

A mistake.

Tornadoes came around to throw everything into a mess, making me lose my way to home. Dark clouds hung above my head, ready to make it rain and give everything a depressing glow.

A mistake.

"Oh o-okay, yeah it was n-not like I was e-enjoying it anyways. You're my best friend" I laughed off, not looking in his eyes anymore before I would cry.

I couldn't show him how much this actually effected me.

The tears started to form in my eyes and I tried my hardest to blink them away, not putting my feelings out in the open. It was no use, River clearly didn't feel the same for me anyways.

I could have expected it. It's uncommon that a popular boy who was also captain of the sports team, could fall in love with a nobody like me who was also a boy.

And this was a sign that we weren't meant to be together. I had to accept that and let it go, hoping that I could still at least fix my friendship with River.

"I know I was your ride home, but.." He grabbed his wallet and gave me some cash. "I think you should take a cab" He softly said, walking away from me and leaving me behind on the middle of the dance floor as everyone else followed this entire conversation with big eyes.

A cold wrapped around me when he left, creating an empty feeling.

I gulped when he left and I saw everyone looking, I was trying my hardest not to cry and ran away towards the boy's bathroom.

I hurried fast into one stall and sat on the toilet, instantly crying my eyes out and not caring that people may hear me.

"Semmy? Semmy, I know you're somewhere in here" I heard a familiar voice, but it was not River's.

He couldn't even be here since he left.

"You forgot to lock the door" Jax smiled soft as he opened the stall door where I was in, he also got in and closed the door.

"Are you okay? No wait, stupid question never mind.. Of course you are not okay" He said and pulled me in a hug, making me cry louder as I burrowed my head in his neck.

This was what I needed.

He rubbed my back and tried to soothe me by whispered sweet words in my ears as I let my feelings out.

"He doesn't know what he's missing out Sem.. Just know that it was not your fault. It was a dick move to let you go home with a cab.. I'll drop you off at home when you want to go okay?" He told me, kissing my head soft and for some weird reason giving me soft tingles.

"Thank you.. I appreciate it, I feel like such a fool right now" I admitted as I sniffed.

"If someone here is a fool then it's River and not you.."

After a short while I pulled back and wiped my eyes. "Why are you comforting m-me?" I asked him to break the silence.

"I meant it when I said that I wanted to be your friend Semmy and you really seem like you need a friend right now" He told me, making me look at him in awe.

Nobody actually tried that much for me. Maybe I could finally make a friend.

"You are so nice.. Thank you" I whispered in admiration and started to smile a bit.

"There is that beautiful smile again!" Jax grinned and grabbed my hand.

"Come cutie, we are going to dance and have some fun for the rest of the night!" He said as he dragged me out of the bathroom in excitement.

Even though I felt like falling apart, he made me feel at least a bit better and managed to make me forget about my secret.