Loving River

Loving fourteen

"Love is when you can't stop looking at him, even if he'll never look back."

Semmy Carson

"Go to the formal dance with me"

My head couldn't stop repeating that simple sentence as the air got sucked away from me, making me feel breathless over him. I stood there, like a frozen monument in front of him and my heart was racing way too fast. I was gaping and staring at him with wide eyes in utterly confusion.

Did he really ask me that? Did he?!

"T-to the dance?" I asked to be sure.

His gorgeous light eyes watched me as the smiled along with his lips, making them shine bright like stars. Being around him made me weak in the knees. He reminded me of the sun, brightly beautiful from the outside and warm from the inside from the inside. I couldn't get over him.

Holy shit, I think he really did ask me to the formal dance!

"Yes silly! We can go as friends! Since I broke up with Lucy" He explained furthermore, sending me one of his soft smiles.

Oh.. Friends..

"Semmy? You okay? Suddenly you seem a bit sad, did I said something wrong?" He asked, pulling me closer, trying to comfort me like the caring River Allen always did.

Yes you did.

"N-No.. Sorry I'm just tired, of course I will go with you as friends.." I murmured, looking away in disappointment and feeling my heart drop, almost shattering to the ground.

Well that was the hardest friendzone I ever felt.

How could I even have the confidence to think that he actually asked me out for a date? Of course he only asked me as his friend.

Because you are his friend, that's the only thing you ever will be Semmy.

Was it wrong that a heavy feeling swirled around in my stomach? As if a tornado came around to throw everything upside down for me to pick up all the lost pieces. I tried to mask my feelings, but River saw it.

River saw everything.

He knew when my stars fell down or when I got lost. That's how I felt; my path was gone, letting me lose my sight of where I had to go.

Usually I was a positive person, but when it came to River, all I could do was worry about everything and anything that included me. He made me more insecure than I was before.

River Allen was the popular kindhearted boy and I was the nobody who got beaten; we would never fit anyways, I thought as I blinked my tears away.

Of all the people my heart could have chosen, it decided on a boy who didn't have enough room in his own heart to love someone like me.

"Earth to little Sem" River said as he rubbed my back very soothing, letting the goosebumps roll over my shoulders down onto my back.

"So.. You are going with me right?" He asked, almost showing his puppy eyes.

The bastard knew I couldn't resist those.

"Yeah, I go with you" I tried to smile.

I should get over myself, I knew that River wouldn't fall for me.