Loving River

Loving four

"You are the first and last thing on my mind, each and every day."

Semmy Carson

The classes with River mostly consisted of me trying not to get caught for staring at the godlike boy and not paying attention to whatever the teachers explained to us in class.

I couldn't help it okay! Don't blame me.

It was River's fault for being such an attractive boy. His gray eyes shone with this rare kind of happiness like usually, making me feel good at an instant. River was an overall very positive boy, it was impossible not to be happy whenever you were around him. He always knew how to cheer you up even unconsciously.

His hair almost looked golden even underneath these crappy school lights. And the casual clothes he wore, made him hella attractive like he didn't even need to try to look good.

So how could I not stare at his natural beauty?

We had only two hours of maths so it wasn't such a big deal that I wasn't paying attention. I was an A student when it came to maths. In fact, all my grades in every class were pretty high.

We weren't allowed to talk in our classes anyways. Everyone was for some reason pretty quiet in class today, probably because they were tired and wanted to go home like every kid in this prison called school. So if River or I even dared to talk with each other, you could hear it loud and clear.

I also tried not to be obvious about the sharp pain that was spread across my body that Mitchell gave me as a present. River couldn't find out so I tried to move as less as I could and tried not to winch a lot.

Now River and I were in his car on our way to my house. After the discussion about my bleeding wounds and bruises, he insisted to go to my house so he could take care of them like he was my own personal nurse or something.

Not that I would mind..

Hell, I actually wanted to tell so bad what I felt for this angelic boy. To free myself from all what I kept in.

But I couldn't.

It was wrong; he was my best friend and he had a girlfriend who was a sneaky potato by the way. He wasn't a homophobe, but River wouldn't want me near him anymore if I'd ever confess to him. I couldn't just ruin all these years of friendship with him, it meant way too much to me to let that all crash down on us. And besides all of that: he never felt the same.

This was just your familiar unrequited love and I had to deal with that.

"Semmy? Hey, Semmy we're here" River made me snap out of my thoughts by softly shaking my shoulders.

"Huh? Oh.." I spoke dumbfounded when I indeed saw that we arrived.

"Are you okay? You looked deep in thoughts, what were you thinking about?" He started to ask me concerned and frowned in a way that made me swoon over him even more.

You.

"N-no nothing. Just the stress with school and my home situation came a bit down on me" I told him in a honest way.

It wasn't what I was thinking about, but I actually was stressed about these things. Even though I was good with all my grades, it took me a lot of effort and I had bullies right after me which nobody ever knew about.

And my home situation..

Both of my parents were too caught up in their work to forget their only child which was why River was also a lot around my house or I at his. River knew how much it actually touched me that I didn't have parents to support, ease or even freaking celebrate all the holidays with me including my birthday.