Loving River

Loving twenty-three

"You may hold my hand for a while, but you hold my heart forever."

Semmy Carson

"How can I say no to those gray puppy eyes?" I smiled and took a step closer to him, feeling the air getting sucked away from me.

Being close to him made me nothing but breathless yet I didn't care, I loved being with him. He gave me a strength and comforting that nobody else could give me.

"I can finally call this beautiful boy, my boyfriend" He genuinely smiled at me, having me on my knees for him.

Hearing that specific word from his mouth, gave me a feeling I've never experienced before; his strong warmth tingled down to my skin and bones. A wide smile spread across my face, knowing he liked me back and I got the boy who was hard to catch.

Our eyes stared at one another, the grayness looked intense vivid and comforting. As always he took me to places I'd rather stay in for the rest of my life, the mountains and aesthetically white snow were my home now.

He himself was my home now.

The beautiful boy with his styled brown hair and piercing eyes, made my heart beat faster especially when I could feel his breath on my skin. In no time the goosebumps rolled over my body.

I was basically on cloud nine, flying up high in the sky as I watched over the pink soft clouds called love.

River took my hand in his, making me feel all giddy from the inside, as we both sat down in the grass field. We were watching the incredibly gorgeous view.

"It's so beautiful, I literally can't take my eyes off of this" I breathed out, watching how the sun lightened the colored blossoming flowers around us and how the atmosphere changed due to the nice little lamps on the ground.

That's exactly how I felt like, a blossoming flower for River.

The most beautiful thing was that River knew I loved to watch the nature, to see and take in all the pretty things around me. That's why I even loved it more that he took me to this place, I've never seen it before and it was so stunning that I became speechless.

"Not as beautiful as you are, Carson" He said, making me look in his eyes in shock whilst my cheeks reddened.

"Oh.. D-don't be so cliche!" I bit my lip, falling into the mountains of his eyes.

"Shhhh, just kiss me already dork.." He murmured low under his breath and grabbed my face, crashing on lips on each other.

A soft gasp left my mouth as my lips tingled for him. I hummed the moment I tasted some mint and cherries, causing my heart to burst. I loved his kisses, they were slow yet deeply passionate.

My hands found their way in his hair as I played with them, loving the groans I earned from that. His arms wrapped around my waist to pull me closer and in that moment I realized how much I missed his lips, how extremely addicted I was.

His tongue fought with mine, feeling myself lose as he won the dominance. Our lips moved on one another in sync as my heart screamed for more.

Being in his presence was like swimming in a pool filled with hearts, happiness and freeness which made me want to swim every single day.

He was not only my boyfriend right now, no, he was also my best friend after all this time.

Unfortunately he broke the kiss so both of us could catch some air, not that it was valuable; since I still felt breathless with him.

"I love you.." I said again, without thinking and this time it was clear enough for him to hear.

Because it's nothing but the truth. I loved River Allen with all my heart and I wouldn't change that for anything in this world.

Every day I couldn't stop thinking about him or how I wanted his arms around me. I missed him at the first microsecond when there was distance between us. And each and every day I drowned in his beautiful eyes, never afraid of what would happen in the future.

He taught me how to be myself, how to be strong and he showed me that it was okay as long as I believed in what I stood for.

Most important, he taught me how to love.

"I- I- uh-" He stuttered, taken back.

"Shhh.. Don't say anything.. it's okay River, I get it" I told him in all honesty.

"What? Really?" His eyes widened, showing me his guilt.

"Yes, I just wanted you to know.." I smiled.

There is no way to deny that I was a tiny bit sad, but I understood his side of this story. I mean, he never knew he would like a boy. All of this took a sudden turn and is different for him. He needs his time and honestly, I was able to give him that. Especially because I knew that it would be all worth it in the end.

I just hoped that nothing would tear us apart.

"How can you be so precious, so nice to this world. You are too sweet for this place Semmy.." He said, kissing my forehead soft and tender. "Thank you for saying what you said.. You don't know how good that makes me feel, it's all just new to me you know? And when I say it back, I need to be a hundred percent sure of it and I want it to be special, because that's what you deserve" He explained to me, caressing my cheeks in his lovingly way.

"That's all I want to hear.." I smiled, looking at our intertwined fingers. "Let's go home, I want to spend the night with you. Thank you for this small date, I like to have it simple once in a while" I thanked him and blushed when he smiled, walking towards the car with him.

-

Once we arrived home, we instantly crawled inside River's bed. I loved being here since it smelled and felt like home, there was this homey feeling that wrapped around you once you stepped inside and the warm cinnamon smell, made me feel relaxed.

In River's warm bed I felt even way better, I snuggled in his pillows and sniffed his minty smell. I loved how it smelled like him and how he pulled me close to his chest to make me feel safe, I could hear his soothing heartbeat which made me calmer as I kept my eyes closed.

The sound of his heart was a sound that was only to be heard by me. It was special and nice.

"Good night Semmy, one day I'll love you too and when I do, I'll love you even more then you do right now.." He whispered, kissing my forehead and playing with my hair, probably thinking that I was asleep.

And I felt so safe with this boy. He was my beginning and my end, I didn't care what was battle was next; our love was strong enough to fight against it.

There was actually a chance to win this fight as a couple as long as both of us were in for it.

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Sorry for this bad chapter!