happenings

lesson learnt

7/11/18 -

so as i said about two chapters before, there's this guy that asked me to be his girlfriend, BUT merely only to try things out between the both of us. well update, we called it off today. i met him after school and we talked a bit. he told me about how he was having problems with opening up to people and saying how he didn't want to wake up as everything was better in his dreams. he apologised to me several times as well for what he did, but honestly speaking, they sounded insincere to me. i just had that gut feeling. i told him some things as well though, how i get easily emotionally attached to someone. are you guys like that as well? i'm pretty sure i'm not the only one right? and yeah i just told him straight saying that i expected all of this to happen. a relationship has to go both ways. but if only one person is making all the effort and initiative for the relationship, it will go no where. i guess it was a good lesson for me but honestly guys, we should not rush things like love or relationships ya know? they will come when they want to. they should find us and not them. and most importantly, we should not force something to happen just because we like the thought of it. we're just hurting ourselves by doing so. i'm not saying that the past one month was a total waste, but now that i think of my decision, i should not have even agreed to it in the first place. but oh well, things happen, we just have to move on with our lives. but really though, even if what happened was something really mild, it impacted me emotionally quite a lot. while i was letting out everything that was inside of me, tears were on the verge of falling, my heart was racing, hands trembling. but i guess it was really for the best if we stayed as friends. he has to fix himself too, and i have some reflections to do. so as we said the last bit of pieces, i told him the final stand and just left. i took my bag and walked away. no words said after.