Dissolved Completely.

Change is inevitable

Well i was lost entirely.

Aidan didnt make things easier for me considering the questions of 'if im okay'. I am okay i just cant keep saying I am over and over again.

My family wasnt home so I decied to text the other since we kinda haven't talk for a while. But i didnt need to message him as he already messaged me if i was fine and if things were okay with Aidan.

Well basically like a check up. I don't know anymore but is it bad to feel you made a mistake on who you choose to go out with.

I sighed deeply as sat outside the porch as the cloudy skies hid the sun perfectly. The thunder cried softly, rested my elbows on my kneecaps and rest my face in my palms. Soon i felt a drop of water hit my face and smiled knowing it was gonna rain. 

I loved it when it rained. I honestly did the way the droplets landed on my skin and how it smelled, it felt like fresh air. Like i could breath again. 

Soon it started to rain hard as lightening struck about i say over 30 or 40 miles away from where i was so i decided to get inside.

I just felt so down. Did i actually want this relationship or did i want someone else?
I dont know. With the arguments and constant apologizing it felt overwhelming. It felt like a repeat of each argument we had.

I get mad fora dumb reason, he gets hurt and tries to apolpgize. I dont know anymore maybe its me. Maybe im just not ready for a relationship anymore.

Hes sweet but hes said things that burned into my mind. And i can't let it go. It hurt to the point where i cried my self to sleep. Things change. Even when we don't want it too.

Change is inevitable.