Dissolved Completely.

Trust

Have you ever had the memory of your mother holding you tight in her arms?

Holding you because you feared something just because of your crazy little kid imagination?

I never really had a moment like that, my mother never babyed me, she never just looked at me and smiled saying she loves me. She was the mother who burst my dreams into a million peices.

She said following your dreams isn't going to take care of you. I never dreamed. I basically did everything she wanted me to do.

Actions speak louder than words yet words and actions can both do a lot of damage to someone. My mother always found happiness in money never in family unless it was my sister.

I wanted to be that kid, to be held, to have a mother to cry to, a mother to hold me amd say things will be okay. A mother who will be there to make me feel like crying is not weak or a sign of not being able to hold up the world on your shoulders.

My dad shook me awake gently as i slowly opened my eyes. "Sweetie wake up, we're here." He stepped out the car as i did so too taking my bag with me, after leaving the car he leaded me to the hotel room where i was dreading sleep for a while.

"Anjelic?" He said as we stepped into the elevator. "Yeah?" I replied he took a deep breath "I dont know how long i can take your mother's attitude and actions." I knew where this was going, he wanted to leave bit not abandon me at the same time.

"Dad, i would leave her too but I'm 17...i need a gaurdian...and leave if you want ill be able to handle her on my own." I said calmly as i a shaky breath left me.

"Thats what i dont wanna do Anjelic, but you have all these people and your sisters....your sister....her body will be here...." that was the first time ive seen my father's eyes water up. That when i knew he had also lost a someone too, his oldest daughter.

I missed her too. I hugged my dad as he hugged me back "I don't hate you Anjelic, i know some times im mean towards you...i love you sweetheart...im not mad or hate you in anyway...daddy loves you, you know that right?" I nodded feeling my eyes tear up but held it in.

My dad was never the good guy, he had his flaws. He use to abuse my mother and was very scary, he shouted and got violent.

But my dad is the only one who promised not to lay a hand on me, the only parent to apologize and to control themselves.

Most of my life was full of sad days, it started when i was younger. It slowly disappeared when i turned 8, my family was happy and normal.

That's all i thought about that night. I trusted my dad. Trust, is hard for me to give to someone. I trust somebody and the instantly break it. Ill accept their apology but i deny their trust.

Trust. Funny how it can cause you issues when broken.