Injured Feet & Rickety Hearts {Book 1 Completed}

//Chapter 63//

I had been hesitant to go into the homestead for food, I knew that's where Newt would be.

Is this really what I have resulted into? Scared of my own boyfriend, someone I knew cared about me more than anything. I guess I was just a coward who didn't want to face what I have done. Who didn't want to admit to the fact I messed up. Maybe Newt was right, I really am just a child who needed looking after.

Minho practically dragged me into the homestead, pulling me in and glaring at me. Saying and I quote. "Stop being such a big sissy and talk to the wuss". I appreciated Minho and everything, but I really wanted to beat the crap out of him right now.

I could hear chatter down in the map room and I could hear Newt's tired voice. It hit me like a brick.

Whatever happened to our perfect world? Everything seemed so perfect and normal, then everything came crashing down on all of us. I don't know what else to do. I had lost grip on what being happy meant.

Everywhere we looked was a different problem to make us quiver. I'm not sure what's real and what's fake. I wondered over to where Frypan bunkered up, Minho gave me an unhappy look when I turned my food down. I wasn't hungry, I was too messed up to eat.

It had been a long and exhausting day, I just wanted to sleep for a few hours without fear for once. But that was a long-lost dream that my broken mind has created. There wasn't a space in time that wasn't veined with fear. Not in these days.

I leaned against the wall as Minho ate his apple, clearly eating it in a way that he was trying to tease me into being hungry. I wasn't bark Minho for gods sake. I rolled my eyes at him before folding my arms.

I sighed deeply, but my silence was broken when the group inside the new map room started treading up the stairs. I tiredly turned my eyes to the trap in the floor as it was swayed open. Thomas came out first, Teresa at his side looking worried. He did look sick and pale, as I wouldn't blame him, he has spent all night and day out in the maze.

"Go take a nap Tommy"

Newt almost ordered, his voice weighted on my ears, I had to breath steadily to relax my mind. He's just a person Malaya, he cares, he doesn't hate you. The average motivating mental notes.

The few people who had been in there helping when I was down there yesterday were down there too. I licked my lips as I watched them disperse. Teresa walking off outside, Thomas going up stairs.

Newt was the last one left, his eyes landing on me as his hands filled his pockets. His lips twitched in a quick half smile before he took a few careful steps towards me. I didn't take my eyes away as he approached.

I wanted to talk to him I guess, I wanted some normality around here now that everything had come to hell.

"Hey Laya"

He spoke softly, and I sighed, unfolding my arms and standing up normally. I wasn't sure how all of this was going to go, but I guess I need to try. I shouldn't have been a shank to cause all these problems.

"Hey Newt"

There was silence between us before Newt slowly lifted his arm to rub the back of his neck. A deep sigh fell from his mouth before he took a few paces forward. I matched his steps. I knew that I needed to fix this, part of it was my fault. I just wish things would go back to normal.

"... I was wondering if we could talk now. But I understand if you don't"

He asked in a very careful tone, making sure in every way that he didn't threaten me or force me. In cases like this I felt like a ticking time bomb, that the blinks of my lashes were the timer's ticks of my explosion.