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CHAPTER 20

There was three more days until I had my date with Blake.  My emotions were confusing. I wanted to go on a date with him but I feel a little uncomfortable going on a date with a guy from high school. I just really don't know what to do at this point. I can't cancel the date, I don't want to. but I kind of do. it's like I just want someone to tell me to not go on a date with him. I just wanted to stay home and relax. but I have to go on the date. I can't turn him down because I have one suspicion.

I walked into the cafeteria, I hadn't eaten all day, but I was nauseous because of all of my thoughts were fucking with my appetite. I just got a water and walked up to the table where I previously sat the day before. "Hey Lana." said Papiris "hi. so do you guys still have your suspicions on Carrie?" I asked while taking taking a sip of water. "Yeah. I'm thinking about following her. but none of these pussies want to help me." she said looking down at her food. "Yeah sorry but I kind of want to keep my job, instead of getting fired for following my boss while I'm supposed to be working." said Ari. "okay, well i really dont think this is a big deal, you should just drop it. its probably nothing." i said "yeah Papiris, its nothing.  you should focus on your work instead. you are always braging about how you are an amazing designer, you should focus on that." said Piper takin another forkful of her salad.

the bell had rung about three hours ago, i needed to design some stupid scarves now. the only thing i now had in my cubical was a picture fram with the school newspaper in it. i didnt really care about my cubical as much as the other people did. some of the people even painted theirs. they hung pictures of their families and pets. i made me sick to think that the only family i really had was my mom and dad. i used to spend a lot of time with my dad, but than when i hit my teenage years, i guess the job for daddys little girl was not fitting for me anymore. I thought to myself, all of these people seemed perfect.  the perfect families, the perfectfaces, the perfect friends, the perfect design skills, the perfect bodies and clothes, and well the perfect life. ad then theirs me, without the love of a family but with friends, and pretty good deign skills, and according to Luke the body of an awkard troll. it really made me sad to think about how perfect my life used to be and how i turned out now. i glanced at the clock, it read 5:48. i colored in the rest of the last scarf i drew, and started to pack my stuff up. ... i walked toward the car and realized how frikn cold it was, i was wearing my white dress and black heals, nothing else.  i started Calums car and drove away.

 i dont really know how i ended up driving here instead of the house where i live but all of this thinking about family made me want to see my old life just once more. i wasnt going to go  in and say hello but, i said i would never come here again. i wanted to leave but i couldnt. i was stuck but i wasnt. i could leave but i didnt. i wanted to be home on the sofa with my dad and mom watching a movie together. i wiped away a tear and just looked at the house.the house that looked perfect so alive, but the people who lived their were so imperfect and dead. i saw a curtain move and i ducked so she didnt see me. i cant believe i was acually hiding from my own mother. "hah." i sniffeled and the tears wouldnt stop. i closed my eyes and tried to think if i closed them hard  enough i would be able to go back in time. i would have maybe stood up for myself. i wouldnt have gone to that party. i wouldnt have went to Wendys and met Blake. i didnt realize how tired i was until i fell asleep.

-knock-knock-knock- i opened my eyes and saw that it was morning. i had fallen asleep in this car. shit its cold. i looked out the window and saw my mother. no. shit. fuck. damn it. i looked in the mirror. i had frin racoon eyes. i opened the car door and walked out. "Lana?" asked my mother "yeah. mother?" i asked "why are you in this car, across the street from our house?" she asked "oh just looking at the house." i said "so uhh how are you?" she asked, my mother had no make up on she was in her pajamas. an drining a cup of black coffee. shit it smelled good. "i got a job. but obviously you dont-. shit what time is it?" i asked she looked down at her watch. "uhh 4:35." she said "why?" she asked "i need to be at work by 7:30." i said " i should go." i said "wait. do you want to get ready here? you could wash up and borrow a dress." she said "mother i think the coffees getting to you. have you forgotten what ou said to me?" i said slamming the door and driving away. "shit!" i screamed glancing at the clock. it was 4:45.

i walked into the house and headed toward the kitchen. "LANA!" screamed Calum. "oh hi." i said "where the hell were you?" he asked "and what happened to your face." he asked "oh i uhh worked late and fell asleep at the office." i said heading to the coffee machine. i took a cup and filled it with black coffee. "Lanas back!" screamed Micheal "okay i need to take a shower. so if you want to know what happened ask Calum." i said "okay." he said and walked towards my room. on my way i bumped into Luke. "ahh! what the hell happened to you." he asked "just ask Calum." i said and closed the door. ... i took a shower put my make up on and put on some more warmer clothes. i ended up wearing some black panty hoes, a pencil skirt and a sheer shirt with a blazer. i looked at the clock and saw that it was only 5:56. i picked up my purse and headed towards the kitchen for my second cup of coffee. i filled up my cup and snatched a muffin. the deep flavor of the coffee made my mouth water. i took a bite of the muffin, it tasted like sugar and bananas. yum. I decided to just leave and go to work early.

Two more days until my date with Blake. I was sketching some designs for some office wear.  there was 3 hours until lunch. the lunch here tasted like cafeteria food. so I doesn't taste that good. "pissst." said someone. I looked around and saw someone looking at me. "yes?" I asked "hi. uhh are you Lana Benward?" she asked "yes. why do you ask?".I asked "we used to go to school together." she said "really? uhh might I ask who are you?".I said "oh I'm Ginger Williams. we had design together. we were partners almost every project." she said "oh. I remember now. your mom is really nice. " o said "oh thank you. well we should get back to work. there is cameras." she said returning her attention to her work.

I walked in through the front door. "hi!" I said walked toward the kitchen "hey. guess what I'm making." said Michael "what?" I asked taking a beer out of the fridge. "tacos." he said in a high voice. "oh. I do love tacos." I said "well these tacos will be amazing!" he said hyperly. "have you discovered grits Michael?" I asked. he gave me stare and than began chopping a tomato. I walked into the tv room and saw the rest of the guys sitting there. I sat on the chair and took a sip of My beer. "Hey." said  Ashton "hey." I said looking at the tv. "When are the tacos gonna be ready!" yelled Luke "soon! Calum come help me! I ain't no slave." he said and I choked on the beer from what Michael had said. ... "dinners ready bitches!" he said and I got up and ran to the kitchen for my taco. I grabbed four shells and staked them high with food. I grabbed another beer to. just in case I ran out and I didn't feel like getting up. I took a bite into the crunchy taco and the flavor satisfied my tastebuds needs. I couldn't help but wonder. who invented tacos?

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I know it's been a long time but I have finally updated. it's pretty long. so yeah tell me what you all wonderful readers thought. ... so I guess the fifty shades of grey commercial is premiering today. My sister read the book and she's like. "this book was banned from libraries cause it's that sexual." and I thought to myself. "it's not as close to as how sexual After is". it is true though. okay vwell avios« I think that's how you spell it. I don't even know. bye bitches.

xoxo Big Juels