Carry On SnowBaz

Anniversary (4)

Penelope

Covered in snow, I stand in the doorway and stare at a flushed Simon and Baz, who are sitting at the kitchen table. To my surprise, it smells like Christmas roast in here.

"Oh," I say. "I didn't know that you would be here."

"We're always here," Baz responds and stares at me like I'm from a different planet. Simon just looks like he really wants to say something but can't find the right words. Actually, like always.

I take a few steps in their direction. Then I recognize a small candle between them. I never saw a candle around them before. Flammable and so on. So, this must be something serious. Did I miss something?

"Are you two having a date?" I ask and point at the little flame.

"We...err...," Simon stammers.

"Kind of," Baz cuts him off.

I step closer and see something that looks like a self-made dinner. But this would be complete nonsense.

"Did you cook? By yourself?" I stare at the table. Shocked.

"Yeah... err... we did...but hon -"

"It's very delicious!" Baz interrupts Simon's stuttering again. "I think we really got the hang of it."

"Seriously?" I still stare at their plates. Then I take a look at the kitchen. There're lying used knives, food rests and several pans. They really cooked! I didn't think I would experience this day. How often did I try to teach them how to cook noodles? And it took months to show them how the coffee machine works. And this is even a whole bloody dinner!

"Yeah." Baz nods. Simon looks confused.

"Yeah..." I don't know what to say. "And what recipe is this? Can I taste it?" I ask unsure. Both just keep staring at me. Simon clasps his plate so tight that his knuckles are already white and Baz looks like someone just told him Christmas will be cancelled. I clear my throat. Simon flinches and opens his mouth to say something. "No...I mean yes!" he says five seconds later. "Didn't you already eat something?"

"No, I -"

"But you can't have something from our dinner!" Baz interrupts me hectically. "We're not finished yet!"

"Baz's right," Simon agrees. "I'm still very hungry!" He loads a big spoon of mashed potatoes on his plate. Then he shovels it into his mouth.

I knew that sometimes they're weird but this is a new level. First, they cook a meal on their own and then they act like ... I can't even describe it.

"I should probably go," I say frowning and want to step back but Simon makes me stop.

"No! Please! You don't have to leave!" he calls out. Now Baz looks confused. And me, too.

"I go into my room, okay?" I say, moving backwards to the door.

"That's a good idea," Baz replies and smiles creepily at me with his fork in his hand. Weird.

*

In my room, I take off my coat and scarf. I speak "As you were!" to dry my hair, and sit down on my bed. I'm still confused. There were many situations in which they acted strange, all the time. That's who they are. But this ... Did I miss something? I definitely missed something. I try to figure it out, but after a few seconds, I decide to give up. Maybe Simon will explain it to me later. Or Baz. Or both of them. If they aren't that silent anymore. And that weird.