Carry On SnowBaz

Christmas (3)

Simon

I stare at my hands. They're trembling. And my eyes burn. I don't dare to glance at Mr Grimm or answer him. I don't even remember his question. And I have to get out of here. I have to follow Baz. So, I get up and shove my chair to the table.

"The dinner... err... it was really delicious," I stutter, while I cling to the back of the chair. (It's one of the sentences I had arranged on the way here.) "Excuse me."

I stumble out of the dining hall into the corridor without a last look at Baz's father. Because I don't know where I'll find Baz, I just stray disoriented through the floors. I can feel how tears run over my cheeks. I really don't want to cry. (I especially don't want Baz's parents to see me cry – Jesus!) But I can't help – my nerves are wrecked.

Right at the moment when I decide to call for Baz, I find him on the top of the stairs. He has – for my taste – a way too huge flame in his hand with which he burns a bunch of flowers in a Victorian vase.

"Shit, Baz!" I cry out and beat his hand away. "What are you doing?!"

He glances at me with a fierce face. His eyes are almost black and his lips are curled full of anger. His hair falls into his face which makes him look even more furious.

"Fuck off!" he yells and instead of burning, he slams the flowers against the wall. The vase shatters into thousand pieces. It makes me flinch.

"I knew it! I knew this would end like crap!" he shouts and stomps through the room, probably searching for more things to destroy. "He's such a fucking git!" Baz grasps a statue of a woman without arms and legs, and wants to throw it down the stairs. I grip his arms to make him stop. (The statue looks pretty expensive even though she's totally ugly.) (I know there is another term for things like this, but I can't remember it right now...)

"Baz!" I shout and turn him to me. "Calm down!"

But he frees himself out of my grip and slams the bust – now I finally remember the word – on the floor. (At least not downstairs, so she doesn't break.)

"I can't just calm down, Simon!" he barks at me and I could swear I see his fangs popping. I never saw him in such a rage since his fight against the Mage. I trip a step back. Try to hold back these stupid tears.

"Did you hear what he was saying?! Did you listen to him?" He's facing me now. "An act of rebellion?! Is he fucking serious?!"

His fangs make him look completely mad. I reach for his hand because he has to calm down, but he doesn't let me take it.

"You know what? You were right!" He hurls his arms through the air. "I shouldn't hide myself anymore! I should confront them all with the truth – with their bloodsucking queer son! And then we both run away and they can tell everyone it was only an act of rebellion! Oh, but they won't tell them that I'm a vampire – this would destroy our reputation! Fuck off!" He kicks against the wall and for a moment I'm afraid that it will crack.

"Baz!" I grab his shoulders and push him against the wall. "Stop it! Destroying the house won't change anything! And you really don't want your parents to see you like this!" I feel how the tears find their way over my face. Damn it!

But instead of stopping, Baz pushes me away and I almost crash against a sideboard. He totally lost his control.

"Won't change anything?!" he shouts and makes a step in my direction. And at this moment, I'm really scared of him. Or for him. "You told me to rebel! You said I shouldn't let them talk to me like that!" He spits the words through his fangs and points with his finger at my chest. "And you wanted me to show myself and now when the worst comes to the worst and stuff gets real you want me to step back?! That's pathetic, Snow! Even for you!"