Carry On SnowBaz

Anniversary (3)

Simon

Even when we don't have to puke, I'm happy when my stomach is full enough that I can stop eating. Baz was right, it really gets better with time but not that good that I would enjoy it. (Not even with butter.) I seriously don't know what we did wrong. I mean it looks and smells delicious but something in there just tastes funny.

I watch Baz how he moves around his last mashed potatoes (the best-tasting part of our meal) on his plate while he's sucking on his fangs. He always does this when he's lost in thought.

"Everything alright?" I ask carefully. I reach over the table and take his hand. He looks up to me. The serious face came very suddenly. Seconds ago, we were just talking about school and then he became silent.

"Yeah...Of course," he mutters and avoids to look into my eyes.

"No Baz. It's not." I squeeze his hand to comfort him. "Tell me. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." He lifts his head and smiles. I don't buy it.

"Come on. By Merlin, something worries you. And I won't stop poking until you tell me," I say determined.

"Well... I...You know that I was at my family's house last weekend. In Oxford."

I wait for him to continue but he doesn't. "Yeah, I know. And?" I ask after a few seconds of silence.

Baz clears his throat. "And...they weren't that happy about my grades."

"Your grades are fine. What's their problem?"

"They think I'm not that good as I used to be."

"Because it isn't Watford anymore. You can't shine in a school of economics with your wand-control and your amazing handling of words. And I thought you don't care about your parent's opinion?" I intensify my grip around Baz's hand. He seems nervous.

"I don't. But they think I...I might be distracted."

"Distracted?"

"They think I'm distracted by...by you." He looks away.

"By me?" I let go of his hand. "And you? Do you think...this...too?"

"Crowley Snow, No!" Baz reaches for my hand now. "I would never call you a distraction. I don't know what I would do without you."

I feel myself blushing when he says this. "Then... Where's the problem?" I ask and squeeze his palm.

He takes a slow breath. "They want me to move to Oxford. But -"

"What? Why?" I ask. "So that you are far away enough from me? So that I can't distract you anymore from your great economic study? Are they bloody nuts? No. No! They can't do this. I mean... They can't... They don't... This is -"

"Simon! Would you please shut up and listen before you start to fuss!" Baz says and tries to get my attention back by waving his hand in front of my face. I try to calm down but the words move and Oxford just make me panic. I could literally feel how all my blood was shooting from one second to the other in my head and rang all the alarm bells.

"They want me to move to Oxford. But I said I will never ever leave London without you. I won't!"

"Oh."

"Yeah..."

"But why are you so upset then? I mean they can't force you to move, can they?"

"I won't let them. I'm a vampire - I have fangs." He smiles at me. I try to smile back but I think I failed. "I just wanted to tell you about it. As you know, we have to visit them at Christmas and they will try it again - and they don't care if you sit right next to me. I really didn't mean to scare you, I only wanted to avoid the ugly surprise when my father will say to you - right in your face - that you're my downfall. That you hold me back. That I have to leave you to be successful. Fucking shit like this."

"So ... your parents hate me." I stare at our crossed fingers.

"They don't ... really hate you. They just... they think I should be a thick businessperson in the world of mages."

"And what do you think?" I've got the feeling of having a frog in my throat.

"I don't care what I become. I don't know yet - so why should I be in a rush?" he says.

Because I hold you back, I think. Because I'm your downfall. I know he said these will be his father's words but notwithstanding he said them. He thought about it.

"But maybe...maybe they're right," I say quietly. "I don't want to stop you from anything."

"No. Stop!" Baz knocks my chin up. "I don't care about my damn future -"

"But maybe you should!" I interrupt him.

"You haven't the smallest idea what you want to be, either!" Baz replies. "But someday we both will know but I won't change anything till then. I won't leave you to study something I don't want to be."

"But when you know, you'll leave me?"

"What? Simon." Now he leans over to me. His hair falls in his face. "Could you please stop talking like that?"

"I...I just want you to be happy," I mumble. It's true. That's all I want from the world.

"And I am. For Crowley's sake, I have never been that happy before!" He lays his hand on my cheek. "Maybe I don't know what I want to do in my future but I know with whom I want to be."

I just stare at him.

"I mean you, you complete moron," he says shaking his head. I stare into his dark grey eyes and then I believe him. These eyes always tell the truth. I can't help but smile.

"Okay," I say.

"Okay?"

"I want to be with you, too."

"Good to know. I mean we just celebrate our one-year anniversary. Under these circumstances, it's nice that you don't want to break up with me tomorrow."

"You're always so..."

"That's me, Snow. Can't help from killing the mood." He grins and I can glance at his fangs - they're still popped out.

"Yeah, but at least not today. Like you said it's our anniversary."

He takes out his wand, clears his throat and speaks: "Candle, Candle Burning Bright!" A small candle appears between us. Burning. I start to laugh.

"You said I killed the mood - so, here you have your romantical ambience back."

"Well, thanks." I poke the candle with my fork.

"Don't hurt her," Baz grumbles. "She's part of our SnowBaz anniversary."

I swallow and start to cough. "How did you just name us?"

Baz groans. "SnowBaz. It's our name. We both together."

"No," I reply. "You gave us a couple name? That's sick!" I narrow my eyebrows. "And why isn't it SimonBaz then?"

"Because this sounds stupid."

"But it's my name."

"Snow, too."

"Yes but...

"Hey Simon, are you there?"