Love Song (LGBTQ+) (COMPLETED)

9. Breaker

Her fingertips took hold of mine as she gave me a peculiar, longing gaze. "Then, what would you do if I told you I was in love with you?"

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"So, you're the girl everyone's been talking about." she held a swimsuit up to my hair, and then set it in my hand. "I kind of want to ask why you would date a girl, but I feel like that would be offensive? You don't have to answer that, obviously."

Gripping the hem of my shirt, I pulled it up and over my head as I took in what she had just said. Did I find it offensive? Not really. Maybe that was an unpopular opinion, but that was how I saw it. Being with Grace had never been so much a lesbian or gay relationship as it had felt like a normal relationship, madly in love and blind to everything but her. "It's hard to answer in words. . .With her it wasn't about gender or orientation. Have you ever wanted to give every last shred of you to someone? That's what I felt with her, that's what I feel with her."

"Whoa." I could hear the flicking of a lighter, which had been followed been by a scent that carried a mix of skunk and bubble gum. ". . .That's sweet."

Moments after I had shown up with Nathan, we ran into this girl. From there, I was taken from him and dragged to the bathroom with her and a small bag. She ended up telling me that Nathan texted her, asking her to bring an extra swimsuit because he didn't want me to feel out of place while everyone else was in one. As I tied the strings to the bottoms of the bikini, it was apparent why he asked her over someone else. She had been a similar size to me, and that had become more obvious once I looked.

"Damn. Looks like I made a good choice." she jumped off of the counter, smirking as she walked through the door and waved her hand. "Joanna, by the way."

I met myself in the mirror. What did I see? What did I feel? Nothing. The voices always seemed to find a home in the quiet. This quiet. This silent emptiness.

Disgusting. Who do you think you are? The person you say you love is lying, dying in a hospital bed while you're out having fun? Trash. This is why she tried to leave this planet, because you and nobody else cares. She cried, and those cries fell on deaf ears. Do you think this is fair? You should be the one on that hospital bed. You deserve it far more than she does. Death is too good for you, you failure.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Grace would want this. She would want me to do this, right? If she were here now, she would've been all for coming and would have forced me along with her. If it had been Grace, she would have had all fun she'd been able to. That was always her, the life and death of a party, the single candle that would always glow in a deep, deep darkness - the lighthouse for all those ere lost.

"Earth to Lynn?" my head jolted to the left, seeing Joanna. "You look fine. Besides, you shouldn't be hiding a body like that."

Whether she'd been joking or telling the truth, I wasn't sure. I hadn't ever seen my body as anything special, barely above average, if anything. Especially when I had looked at her own. The best way to explain her was that she had been the idealization of the female body. She had not only been more filled out than I had been, but she was clearly more cut and fit than I had been. She looked like a model, and her body said that she put the work in for it.

"Sorry. I was just thinking about something." I smiled as I brushed my hair out of my eye.

I followed her out of the bathroom and was surprised to more people out there. Most of the guys were clearly football players, based off of their height alone. Some had been muscular while others were just large. They were built 'Ely strong', as most of the adults put it. What that meant? I had absolutely no idea. All I had known was that some them had arms bigger than my head. This place was full of good looking, athletic guys - it was a stereotypical girl's wet dream.