Love Song (LGBTQ+) (COMPLETED)

20. Faker

"Yeah. I think Zoloft might be the only realistic option." a voice softly whispered. "I just don't feel comfortable giving a girl her age medication like that. We're trying to help her, not create a zombie."

As I opened my own groggy eyes, I was met with the blurry, bright sight of what looked to be an office. My head was pounding like crazy, as though I was the carrier of the worst hangover in human history and both of my hands seemed to follow the same train of thought while they throbbed in pain. Not a memory remained of how I got to this room or why I was in this amount of pain. All I had known was that my eyes were tired and I felt like I was just hit by a linebacker.

Pushing myself up from the couch my head seemed to be so peacefully resting on, the pain in my skull continued to roar harder than it had before. It was like time had been lost and I regained myself only to find injuries and discomfort, confusion and grogginess. Clueless and feeling somewhat empty, I could only sit in a daze as I watched Rebecca talk on the phone with someone.

Rebecca's chair gave a swift turn and her eyes caught mine looking at her. "I have to go. I'll call you back."

Standing, she ended the call and set her phone down before circling the desk. The expression on her face had spelled out every word for me as she eyed me down. It was as clear as day, she approached me like I was some crazy person and I had just done something horrible, something entirely unforgivable. Even my memory agreed with her, it seemed. It was so bad that I didn't want to remember it.

"Are you feeling okay? Hungry, thirsty?" Rebecca sat on the edge of the table.

Lifting my pained right hand, I was given the sight of a white bandage wrapped around my palm and up to my knuckles. My left hand replicated the process as I lifted it to see another white bandage wrapped around it. While it hurt less than my right hand, it was still in an obvious pain, and was clearly trying to tell me that I did something to hurt it. It felt like I hit something, and hit it hard.

It was scary, because I knew I did something wrong. I messed something up, but I didn't have the faintest idea of what happened. I had no memory of anything or anyone, no memory of what I did or what I saw. All I had was a black space in my head that gave me nothing concrete to see and nothing real to hold onto. It was just pure darkness that appeared before my eyes, nothing more and nothing less. Only the black of night.

Running a hand through my hair, I could feel the small trembling of my fingers as they combed through the various strands of hair. "Why does everything hurt . . .Why are my hands like this?"

"You don't remember? I suppose that isn't uncommon." Rebecca extended her arm with a bottle of water. "We had to forcefully sedate you, Lynn."

"Why?" my eyes shot up, somewhat angrily. "What the hell happened?"

Rebecca was beating around the bush, clearly trying to avoid bringing up what I had done. Perhaps she thought it was better for me not to know, or maybe she was just being careful with how she went about bringing it up, but I had to question if she knew just how scary it was to not know anything. I had to question if she knew what it was like to have empty spaces in your own mind with no answers, left utterly clueless.

"Joanna and Jay heard you screaming, and when they ran into your room, they saw you on top of Lucas. By the time an aide and I got there, you were hysterical, throwing punches at him, and still screaming." she brought her right leg over her left. "It was like you were seeing something else, and I think we both know what that was."

A small, pitched ringing raced it's way through ears as blurry images started coming to my mind. I saw a white and dark red, but that was it at first. Slowly, however, the ringing turned into distant screaming and exasperated breathing. Clarity took a step forward as the red clearly became blood and the person below me was Lucas being battered by my own fists, or so it seemed. Right and left, they rained down onto Lucas - or was it him - had Lucas really been the person I saw below me?