Love Song (LGBTQ+) (COMPLETED)

51. Forgiver

As that voice hit my ears, there wasn't any question as to who was sitting across from me while I buried myself in a lone corner. If I was being honest with myself, I don't think I would've spoken to anyone but the girl who was sitting right in front of me, the girl who was blocking my path of escape. The lifting of my head only confirmed what I knew as I was shown the dark, streak-filled hair that I had known and loved for so long. Only a few inches lower rested the glistening eyes that I had fallen apart without.

What I hadn't known or understood at all was her reason for showing up in front me, out of nowhere and without any kind of warning. Before leaving that day, Grace had said that she was coming back to get me on Saturday, which had been the day I was getting out, but it was only a Thursday. What made her come so early? Immediately, my mind seemed to jump to the worst case scenarios as it began imagining all of the things that could've possibly happened. Had someone gotten hurt, or worse, killed? Was there something wrong with her? Little did my head try to process anything other than the worst case scenarios. In my mind, there wasn't any positive alternatives.

"What are you doing here?" I tried to let my hair hide my reddened face, only to have it brushed out of the way by her fingernails. "You said you weren't coming back until the weekend."

"I saw the news and just kind of had a bad feeling. Looks like I was right." Grace slid herself forward. "I also sort of heard that she showed up, too. Are you okay?"

"I don't know how I want to feel right now. I hate her so much, but it's obvious that I can't blame her for anything she did to me. All I have to hate now is myself." my index finger dragged itself under my right eye. "It was hard enough to tell the people that already know, but now she wants me to tell the world? I. . .I can't."

I was so flustered from seeing Courtney show up after all that she had done to me, that the thought of Grace seeing the news and coming to see me had completely went over my head. In that moment of confusion and loathing, I had forgotten that there was a select few people who knew about what happened and knew who did it. I would've understood if they told themselves that this was my chance to get closure for what I had suffered through and felt every waking hour, but it wasn't that.

What Courtney and every other person that asked me to tell someone missed was that in telling someone, I was just going to be raped all over again. I was going to have to give every detail over and over again, and that hadn't been the worst part of doing it. It was being treated like every word that came from my mouth was a lie while they probed me at every angle. Even then, what was the point now? All I had was a story that was a year old and nothing else. Even if it lined up with the other girl's somewhat, it was all hearsay with nothing to back it up.

"I'm sorry, babe, but I agree with her." Grace's eyes slowly began to veer away. "I think you should come out with it, honestly."

Grace's palm met the top of my hand as her thumb grazed across the knuckles of my finger. "Didn't I just say that I couldn't? Nobody seems to understand how damn scary any of this is."

"Don't you think she's scared, too, Lynn? Don't you think she feels just as afraid as you are? If anything is going to make either of you feel better, it's making sure that he gets what he deserves. Even if it's only just telling people, it'll stay in the back of their minds." her grip only continued to tighten around my hand. "The only person that can help her right now is you."

Letting her left hand fall onto my right, Grace set herself on her knees as she continued to bring herself towards me. Continuing to lean herself inwards, her forehead soon met the top of my skull, resting softly as everything about her took over my senses. Of course, at least in the back of my mind, I knew everything she said was true. Even if she hadn't said it, I knew Grace was telling me to do this for my own good more so than the other girl, but it was something I couldn't even answer for myself. Could I stand up in front of anyone and tell them what happened?