Love Song (LGBTQ+) (COMPLETED)

36. Justifier (Interlude 9)

"Hey, boyfriend." I walked into Nathan's room.

Lying on his back, Nathan glanced at me as he threw his football horizontally into the wall. All he gave me was small snicker in return as his focus returned to throwing his football into the wall. Nathan hadn't really reacted one way or another when his mom brought it up, and acted much of the same way when I had to explain what happened. What I was most surprised by was that he agreed to it.

"Funny. I don't date girls who shoot up and get absolutely trashed after it." he rolled onto his stomach.

Once I got back from the store with his mom, I asked Nathan what exactly it was I did. He started by telling me that I showed up at his window soaked, crying with a small bag, and my arms covered in blood. Then came him stripping me, which I was kind of glad I didn't remember, and putting the bandages around my arms. After all of that, I somehow thought it was a good idea to shoot up and drink myself into a coma before passing out with practically no clothes on right next to him. He wasn't going to do anything, but was still a teenage guy. That much he couldn't help.

Yet, I was the one with my arm wrapped around him when I got up. I had been the one pressed up against his back. Nathan pointed himself in the complete opposite direction, and I could've only wondered if it was purposeful on his part. He was like that, and I had been the one worried that he was going to do something? I left myself completely exposed that night, and he still hadn't done anything to me. Just like that night I forced myself on him in the park.

Why was I so okay leaving myself open around him?

"Your mom told me a lot about you, actually." I sat on the floor, right next to his head. "She looks so happy when she talks about you. It's like she can't stop smiling when she does."

Nathan stayed silent as he looked at me blankly. "She spent all the years she was supposed to be having fun and going to college raising me instead. The least I could do is not put her through a bunch of pointless trouble because I want to get stupid. I caused her nothing but heartache with her family, so I'll be as good as I can to make her happy."

It kind of shocked me to hear that come from his mouth. Nathan was sacrificing the times he was allowed to be stupid and get into trouble to make sure that she could live without more problems in her life. Maybe it was guilt, but his expression hadn't said that at all. It said that it was his choice and he was determined to deliver on that. He was so much more mature than he made himself out to be, and it almost felt like I was the only one who saw it.

That day I met him in the hospital, I thought he was just another popular kid trying to make fun of who and what I was, just like the rest of them seemed to. That thought quickly turned to him just wanting to get laid and I was a good, sad target. I just thought he was something completely different than what I had seen from him now. He wasn't an arrogant football player like I assumed, he was a mature teenage guy who most girls would've been lucky to call a friend and more.

"I'm jealous. . ." I smirked, looking down. "The only person who loved me that much might not wake up again."

His forearm bumped my shoulder. "I know you're not religious, but you don't need that to have faith."

"I tried that." I muttered. "All it did was almost get her killed."

Having complete confidence in something I couldn't fix was the stupidest choice I ever made. I should have taken Grace by her pretty little hands and left Ely as quickly as possible. What I hadn't done was taken action in trying to stop what happened, and where I failed her was believing that faith was the answer to calmly repairing it all. It was a lie, faith was nothing but the whispers of sweet nothings to those who needed to hear it. Faith did nothing but take advantage of those who needed something to hold and believe in, even if it sucked them dry of their money and independence.