Starting Over

29. Is it me?

"Honey, what's happened?" She asks with concern written all over her face.

"A guy from Elle's old school has bashed her rapist to pulp and she's freaking out about it. She won't let me in Mum. I can't seem to reach her." I let it all out to her.

"Look, I was in her position but slightly different. Do you remember when your dad left, I wasn't talking to you like you were my child?" I nod in response.

"I thought that the way to fight it was to drink and forget about all the good things in life. I-"

"Mum I get what you went through with him sucks but what does that have to do with Ella and I?" I ask.

"Jackson, she's running away from her problems, like I drank to get away. If you don't stand by her, she'll get lost." My hands are holding each other on the table in front of me. I look down at them as Mum reaches over and squeezes them.

"You can stay the night, but I want you back at Ella's house tomorrow, I want you to be there for her even if she's shutting you out. I had no one to help me up, so I'll try my best to make sure my children can be the person to stand by their loved ones,"

***

The house is dead silent, the only noise is the birds outside and the vehicles driving past. I check the time on my phone and look to see that it is only six thirty in the morning.

I tried to go back to sleep as it's so early but I don't get much success. I sit up in my bed and tie my hair up into a messy bun.

As I walk into my bathroom, I switch my lights on and start brushing my teeth. I finish my morning routine by washing my face and moisturising, then I go to the toilet.

Walking downstairs, it's still pretty silent but I make use of the silence and make my self a coffee and a ham and cheese croissant.

When it's all done I take my plate and mug with me to my balcony again and eat in silence.

I hear commotion downstairs which indicates that some of the others are awake and are making breakfast.

After a while, I smell a familiar scent. A scent that captured my heart when I first glanced.

I look up to see Jackson. He stands at the sliding door leaning on his crutches, in the same tracksuit he wore to the drive-ins but in black. His hair is a mess but looks as stunning. I give him a small smile but I get nothing in return.

"Didn't think I was going to see you for a while," I say not looking at him.

"Is it me? Am I the reason you're avoiding me?" He asks, hopping on his crutches to stand in front of me.

"No, not one bit of this is about you and I never intended to make you assume that this is about you.  I just have a hard time letting people help me get through things and it is something that I'm working on even though it might not look like it, but I am," I rant, standing up and walking over to him.

"You can push me away all you want, but just remember I'm not leaving your side no matter what you go through, whether it be good or bad," he grabs both my hands one each in his.

"I promise this will change," I say, looking straight into his beautiful eyes.

"Don't let the past control your present and future. Let them fight, that's what boys do but they're not in your life anymore don't let it stop you from moving forward," he says.

"I'm so sorry, you have no idea." Jackson let's his crutches fall from under his arms and engulfs me in a hug.

"I love you so much, Jackson,"

"I love you too, baby. But just know, you can push me, hit me all you like but I'm not going to leave your side. I'm going to help you get through everything. Okay?" He replied, kissing the top of my head.

***

"I'm so sorry guys for the way I've acted lately. I guess my head has still been stuck in the past, which I think has made me realise that I have to let that go and I'm going to try my best to do so. I'm so sorry if I hurt anyone in the process of all that, I just hope you guys understand that I am getting through it, slowly and that there will be a few bumps on the way and if do end up hurting one of you, Just know, ahead of time that I'm really sorry. So yeah I just wanted to say sorry for the past few days." Within a spilt second, I am being squished into a massive group hug, everyone yelling 'I love yous' and 'we understands'.

I am so lucky to have such amazing best friends who understand everything and wouldn't judge an action or behaviour that was good or bad.

And even more, I'm so lucky to have an understanding boyfriend who is willing to stick by my different behaviours and mood swings.

I would not change this for the world.

Everyone detaches themselves from one another.

"LETS GO TO THE BEACH!!"

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