A Lie Caused By Love [COMPLETED]/{FIRST BOOK}

Stop Ryan...please!

(Rye's Pov)
"Familly...i wanted to tell you something."i said nervously.
"What's wrong honey?" My mom asked me.
"Nothing i just...i..." i didn't know how to say it, i looked at Andy scared then he standed up too, took my hand and he said "Rye is my boyfriend...and i love him so much." "Yeah we are together and i...i am gay. I can't hide it anymore. I am sorry. I want you just to..."
"You are what?"my dad's shout interrupted me. "Boys please go to your rooms." He said to my brothers and they did it.
"Dad please don't..." i tried to say but he intrrrupted me again."You are not going to say anything...how can you be gay...i hate you Ryan...i don't want to call you my son ever."he was shouting at me while i was holding Andy's hand really tight, i was shocked and scared. My mom was just standing there and watching the ground."You broke my heart...i think you two should go."then he said in lower tone. "But..."i tried to say while tears were forming in my eyes. "NOW!" He shouted and pointed the door. Andy nodded and we just went out of the house...i was broken. Andy hugged me."I am so so so sorry Rye..." he whispered in my ear as i started to cry so hard and loud. He hugged me thighter than before. "Do you want to go to my house?" Suddenly he spoke up. "Yeah..."i said between loud sobs."Okay."he whispered. He took my hand and brought me to the car. "Give me the keys i will drive."he said as i gave him the keys."Thanks Andy. I love you." I said as he kissed me on my cheek."I love you too Rye. Let's go." He said and we got into the car. I was crying all the way. My father's words weren't going out of my mind. In my thoughts i was repeating the moment that he said that he hate me and that i has broken his heart. I know that i am the worst son ever. I wanted to cut myself again. I haven't cut like in months. I used to cut before because i didn't find another way to show my feelings so i just started doing it when the bullying started in school...i was the worst ever...everybody used to hate me when one day i just played at the school theatre and when they heard me singing and saw me acting they stopped and started telling me how good i am and that i should continue this and stuff you know but one day i fell in love with one guy but he wasn't gay or something like this and i couldn't actually tell him my feelings and one day he understood idk how but yeah and the bullying started again...i contnued cutting and because of that i always bring a pocket knife with me...and yeah i hate myself that's all. Nobody can stop me from cutting now because i am so angry at myself because my parents hate me and all my familly will hate me...what have i done?
"We arrived." Andy interrupted my thoughts. I just nodded. He knocked on the door and his mum opened it. When she saw me she asked Andy who i was. "Well he is my friend." Andy said. He hasn't told his mum yet.
"Oh ok. And you two want to stay here, right?" She asked.
"Yeah...can we?"
"Well it is your house too Andy...so yeah." She said with a big smile as same as Andy's.
"Thanks mum."
"You're welcome. Btw what's his name?" She asked Andy.
"Oh i forgot that is Rye."
"Nice to meet you Rye."
"Nice to meet you too mrs. Fowler." I said weakly. Then she invited us to come in the house. The house wasn't that big but inside it was beautiful i tried to forget about what my dad said but i couldn't.
"Do you want some tea?" Andy's mum asked.
"Well yeah. Thank you." Andy said as i nodded.
"Ok then."
"Mum wait."Andy said.
"Yeah darling?"
"I have to tell you something." Omg Andy was going to tell her that i am his boyfriend and that he is gay...
"I am um...I am gay mom and Rye is my boyfriend. I love him so much. Please don't freak out." Andy said and his mom started laughing.
"Why are you laughing?"
"I knew you are gay Andy and i am not gonna freak out or something. Why would you think that i am going to get mad at you?"
"Because my father hates me for being gay..." i said and suddenly the smile on her face dissapeared.
"Oh darling i am so so sorry." She hugged me."You can stay here as much as you want."
"Thanks." I said and then she went to make some tea. It was an awkward silence.
"Can we cuddle tonight? I really want to hold you and never let you feel the pain that your father made you feel..." Andy said breaking the silence with his cute caring voice. I just nodded. I was thinking about my dad's words. I wanted to cut myself so bad. I decided to do it after we drink our teas. We were drinking and talking about stuff. Then we decided to go to sleep. Andy lied on his bed."Are you coming?" He asked me. "Yeah just one second. I will go to the bathroom." I said as he nodded. When i went there i locked the door. I got my pocket knife from my pocket. I wanted to do it so bad. I put the knife to my skin. I felt the freezing metal...it took memories. Then i strated cutting so deep. The first cut hurt me a little but i am used to it. I made the second. The blood was running on my arm. I made the third then forth and then fifth. I couldn't stop...my dad's words were repeating in my head...i made sixth and then seventh. I heard knocking on the door.
"Rye are you alright?" I heard Andy's voice but i just ignored. "Rye i am worried...please open the door." I started to cry when he said this. I continued cutting even though he was outside the room. "Rye please let me in." I heard how his voice cracked at the end of his sentence."No Andy...don't...just go to your room...i will come soon. Just wait there i will be ok." I said through sobs. He knew i was crying. When i said this i cut for tenth time. My hand was hurting so much but i couldn't stop i wanted to hurt me. Then i heard how Andy unlocked the door from the other side of it. When he saw me standing on the floor, my hand bleeding and my eyes red. He just started to cry that made me do my eleventh cut. He gasped. He wasn't moving he was shocked.
"Stop Ryan...please!" He shouted and he sat next to me on the floor and hugged me. I was crying so hard i wanted to make another cut but i couldn't because he got the knife of my hand. I tried to get it from his but he trew it away. I was screaming and crying. I wanted to punch him. "Why did you do this...give the knife back to me i need it i fucking need to cut myself. I am worthless and everybody hates me, i am nobody you should leave me here alone because i am one fucking idiot and i don't deserve to be happy...i want you just to give me the fucking knife please Andy...!" I shouted at him. He looked at me shocked but then he grabbed the knife, standed up and threw it into the bin in his room."Why did you do that i need it...!" I tried to shout but i just couldn't. My power was leaving me, he immediately came to me, made me to stand up and to washed my hand. It hurt but i am used to it. He wasn't talking. Maybe he was mad at me but i couldn't do something else. I hate myslef i wanted to cut again. I couldn't stop thinking what my dad told me. When Andy washed my hand he brought me to his room and binded my hand."Take your shirt off." He said emotionlessly. I nodded and took it off. He gave me one of his. Probably the biggest one. I put it on. Then he came to me and sat in front of me. I was still crying and i was looking to the ground. I was so ashamed i didn't want to look at him. He probably hates me like everybody does. Then he put his hands on my cheeks and forced me to look at him. He wiped my tears away.
"Rye...i know why you did that. I know that you want to do it again. I know how you feel...and i am sorry for that your father is such an asshole but i am here for you no matter what you are going through, no matter how fucked up you are and no matter what crazy things you are doing i am here and remember that i will aways be here. I promise. I will love you forever Rye even if we break up i will still love you from dusk till dawn. Because you are everything to me and when i saw you cutting that broke my heart in billion little pieces. Please Rye don't do it again. If you want to cut again just tell me i will try to stop you. I promise. Please Rye i love you so freaking much..."Andy said as my tears started pouring out of my eyes. I hid my face as he let my face go. He put his hand on my leg. Then i looked at him. "I am so s-sorry Andy...i just need to cut i need it...i..." i tried to said but then he hugged me tight. "Shsh i am here you can cry as much as you want. I love you baby i don't want to let you go ever." He said. His kind words made me smile a little but i couldn't stop my feelings so i cried. I cried so much as he was holding me so hard. He kissed me on the head. After a few minutes i tried to stop crying. Then i pulled away from his arms. He looked at me shocked. "Babe what..." he tried to say but i kissed him. I couldn't take anymore pain and tears i just wanted to feel the connection between us. We were kissing slowly but our kiss was filled with love. Then i remembered about the dare. I really should stop...
But then i forgot about these thoughts because our kiss brought me to a different universe, our universe. There was so much light and warmth. It was just me and him kissing. We were all alone in this beautiful place. I loved it. But when we had to pulled away this world dissepeared. I wanted back that peacefull place. I tried to kiss him again but he stopped me. "I want to cuddle Rye not to have sex so can we cuddle now and tomorrow morning we will talk about everything that happened a minutes ago?" Andy said as he smiled and put his hand under my chin."Yeah i'd love to cuddle with you." I said with a weak and exhausted smile.
"Ok come here." I laid and he laid on me. He knew even if i was the one who need cuddles i will always prefer to feel like i am the dominating person in our relationship. So he let me be that kind of person. And that is the one of the billion reasons why i love him so much." Thank you Andy and i love you so much." I said as he looked at me."I love you too baby. Good night." He said. I was so tired as i didn't know when i felt asleep.

Suddenly i woke up from the sound of someone crying. I opened my eyes. Andy was sat on the bed and he was crying quietly.
"Andy? Are you ok?" I asked him and i tried to hug him but he pushed my arms. "Just don't hug me right now, ok?" He said through tears. "But why Andy? What happened?" I asked shocked. "Why did you lie to me? Is our love just a lie for you Ryan? How could you?" he asked me and started crying so hard. I was scared. How did he know? Omg and now i am gonna loose him...
"Andy it's not what it looks like..." i tried to say but he just standed up and went to the door. Before he left he turned and said."I hate you Ryan. You broke my heart..." he said the same words as my father's, i froze. I couldn't say anything, i couldn't move...i was shocked. Then i heard someone shouting.

"Rye, Rye, wake up!"
Then i woke up. Andy was on me and was shaking me. "What...what happened?" I asked shocked. "You were dreaming Rye. You were shouting at me to come back. I am here, everything is ok Rye, i won't leave. I am here and i love you." He hugged me so strong. "I told you i won't let you go and i will love you forever." He whispered in my ear. I hugged him too."I love you Andy." I said and he kissed me on the cheek."You know i love you too baby."he said with a big smile and i saw his cute dimples. They made me smile. I love his smile and dimples i love everything about him. We were staying like this for so long and then we felt asleep.

Ok this is the end of the chapter i hope you like it xx. Go and check the new chapter of "Only you".❤❤❤