A Lie Caused By Love [COMPLETED]/{FIRST BOOK}

"I love you so much baby."

(Rye's Pov)
"I am sorry Rye but you should go..." he said. What? Why? What happened? What did i do wrong?
"Why?" I asked while i felt tears forming in my eyes. "Don't ask me why just leave please." I was shocked. I stood up from the bed but then i turned to see him one more time before leaving the room. He didn't look at me he was just watching his hands. He was crying. When i saw him crying again my heart shattered. I didn't care that he told me to leave or that he didn't want me to stay i just ran to him and i hugged him so tightly and he hugged me too. "I will never ever leave you i promised you. I will always love you even though you don't want me too...or even though you hate me i will be always here for you through thick and thin...forever...i love you Andy." I said this to him while we two were crying and hugging. He wasn't responding he was sobbing and he put his head in his hands again. I kissed his forehead. "Andy..." i whispered. He didn't respond. "Andy please say something." I almost begged him.
(Andy's Pov)
"Why didn't you leave?" I asked him in low voice. "Why didn't you just let me fucking die Rye? You know i am not good enough. I am fat. I am ugly. I am the worst person ever. I hate myself so much for what i did to you. I hate myself for being gay, for being useless and worthless. I just don't fucking deserve you...i don't deserve to feel your touch and your lips. I don't deserve to be with you. I don't deserve to feel like that. I don't deserve your love Rye. I don't fucking deserve to feel that incredible when we kiss...i deserve you to hate me and to leave me because i am nobody and nothing. I don't deserve to be loved...so Rye please just go i need to be alone. I need to fucking cut myself again and i just need everything to stop. I need to end it now Rye...so please just leave me here and fucking forget about me. I don't deserve you." I said. At first i was shouting but then my voice cracked and i was trying to speak between sobs. And Rye was just looking at me shocked and emotionlessly. He didn't know what to say. He stood from the bed and turned around. He started going towards the door. I knew it, i knew he would go if he one understand everything about me. I started crying so loud and so hard when he went out of the room. I stood up from my bed and went to find the razor. I couldn't take it anymore. It was too much for me. When i went to the bathroom i didn't find the razor so i went back to my bedroom. When i entered it i was shocked. I shivered when i saw Rye staying next to the bed holding the razor. "Is that what you looking for?" He asked me with a small smile. I was just standing there and not moving like the dumbest person ever. I was sobbing when he came in front of me and showed me the razor. "Do you want it?" He whispered. "Yeah." I said queitly. "If i gave it to you and you cut you will never be able to touch me or kiss me or even see me but if i gave it to you and you throw it and promised me never to use it again i will stay with you forever and i will love you forever." He was staring at me with no emotion on his face. He looked at me so numb and then i got the razor from his hand. I turned and threw it into the bin. I turned towards him. "You happy now?" I said annoyed. He just nodded and i sat on my bed. I couldn't stop my tears from falling and i just cried. He came to me and put his arm around me. "Now when the razor is not in your life anymore and all your attention is on me i am gonna tell you why i will never leave you. By the way i wasn't going to leave you even if you had cut yourself again because i just love you so much. Maybe i was going to cry and hug you at the same time and yeah." When he said this i smiled a little and stopped sobbing but i felt new tears coming out. "Hey Andy. Look at me." He said as i did what i was told. "If you want to cry you can cry as much as you want...baby." when he said baby i wanted to kiss him but the tears that was pouring out my eyes stopped me. He wiped them and kissed me on each eyelid. When i felt his warm lips i shivered. I cuddled in him while i was sobbing. I couldn't refuse that i needed his touch, his warmth, his lips and him. "So can i start talking now?" He spoke up. "Yeah." I whispered. "Ok, so i will always protect you and i will always care about you and i will always love you, you just can't get rid of me that easy." He said as i smiled and giggled a little. I wasn't crying anymore and he was the reason. Everything about him makes me smile and makes me feel better. "You are NOT fat, you are NOT ugly...Omg you are the most beautiful person i know with this inocent big blue eyes and that cute dimples and your stupid but sweet smile." While he was talking he was smiling he was about to cry i could feel it." You are not the worst person ever. I am. I put you in this and i am sorry. And you are NOT worthless neither useless. You mean so much to me and you worth it. Trust me. And i am really sorry that i made you feel like you are not good enough. Because you are good enough even more. You are the best and i love you so much..." he stopped to take a breath. He was crying i knew it because his voice was cracking and he was hugging me so tightly. Every time he cries i just becomes like a protective mother. I looked at him and put my hand on his cheek. But he continued talking. "And please never ever say again that you don't deserve me or my love. Because you deserve so much more than that. You don't deserve to die, you deserve to be alive and change the world. Because you can change it. You changed me, you changed Mikey and who knows how many other people. And please never say again that you hate yourself and that i should hate you too. Because i will never hate you and you deserve to be loved because you are just the most amazing person i have ever met. I am so so so sorry for everything Andy. I shouldn't lie to you. I should just stop that with this fucking dare and be happy with you in my arms. I am sorry. You should hate me..." He was crying and looking down even my hand was on his cheek. He was so ashamed he didn't even want to look at me. So i put my hand under his chin and then he looked at me. "I love you Rye. Everything is okay. I will never hate you. I can't hate you. And as you said please never say that i should hate you because i love you and i am just not able to feel the opposite thing about you. Because you are just EVERYTHING to me and you will always be. I really love you Rye and thank you for everything that you did today. I really don't deserve you." I smiled at him as he was looking at me confused. But then he smiled too. "I love you too Andy." The he leant to kiss me but i stopped him by turning my head on the other side. "Okay." He said. He knew i was just so tired from all this thing but he looked sad so i turned my head to him and put a small and fast but filled with so much love kiss. He smiled shyly and he was so cute. "I am so tired Rye." I said. "I know." He said. I laid on my bed but Rye stood up and kissed me on the forehead. Then he turned around to go out from the room but i stopped him by grabbing his hand. "Where are you going?" I asked him. "To the living room. I thought that you don't want me to stay here after all that happened." He said while looking the floor. I smiled at how stupid and cute he was. "Omg you really think that i don't want to cuddle with you forever. Well you are really stupid then. I didn't kiss you because i am tired and i knew that you will deepen the kiss. Yeah ofc i wanted to kiss you and to move like in a different world where are just only me and you BUT i am so tired and i wanted just to cuddle and to sleep and to feel save in your arms like i always do." I said as he looked at me shocked but then he smiled. He laid next to me and hugged me so tightlh. "By the way i feel the same when we kiss like i am in a different universe and everything is so perfect and there are only me and you and no one else." He whispered in my ear. I could feel his hot breath. I shivered then he kissed my ear. "I love you Andy." He said. "I love you too Rye." I said and then i turned to face him. We were staring in each others eyes for a while and then i couldn't take it anymore. I smashed my lips on his. At first he didn't respond but then he started kissing back. It really brought me again in a different world. Omg i love this boy. This time i asked him to deepen the kiss and he let me. Our tounges were moving in sync. I was craving his lips so much. And when i had them it was just perfect. Unfortunately we had to pull away. Both of us heavily breathing. We really needed oxygen. He looked me in my eyes and smirked. I smiled at him. The he started kissing me on my face. First on each cheek, then on my forehead, next were my eyelids, after that my nose and then my lips again. This time we were kissing slowly and without letting tounges in each others mouth. I love when he kisses me like that. Long and nice. But i also love the roughy ones. When we pulled away. He grabbed me and hugged me so tightly. He is so strong. "You should really sleep." He whispered."You too." I said and smirked at him. He smiled and kissed me on the forehead. "Ok i will. I love you Andy." He said. "I love you too baby. Good night Rye." I said as i left him speechless because i used that 'baby' thing. I knew that i will leave him with no words. I smiled at myself. "I love you so much baby." I said again as he kissed my cheek again. "I love you too babe." He said as i smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "And good night Andy." He said. "Good night Rye." I whispered and i felt asleep so fast.

Okay that it's the end of that chapter. I know it's not good but i tried like yeah sorry if you don't like it. I am really trying. Btw thanks for the support even though i don't deserve it xx.
Go and check Aylin's book "Only you". You will love it. Btw it has been a month since me and her became friends so yeah happy one month anniversary girl i love you so much xx❤❤❤😂💍😍👀🖖🔥
Bye for now aliens xx❤❤❤