Updates, Stuff, and Random

Clap? You think its a joke ... wrong

I know I didn't do the Day Idol thing, it's just I'm not doing it anymore. But, I'm actually going to say this and that is, I'm going to therapy in like couple months or years.

But, I am sorry for everything that has been going on lately. I started to be depressed more and more. Yesterday when I was live on Instagram, Lexie said something rude that made me cry and have an Overwhelmed attack so I ended the live

I came out kinda yesterday at my dad's work saying. "Ex girlfriend" and "I'm bisexual but more into girls" plus telling the story how I knew I was bisexual

Someone who I like is straight so it's no use for me to date them -_- single as like my life

When I posted bye on this book, I was actually writing a suicide/goodbye note. I was leaving. I was done with this world and self. So when I posted the part. I texted frankhasoreos saying goodbye. I was having a major breakdown and I had also had another help from my friend. 2 people who are my friends had helped me. I was on the urge of hurting myself. I couldn't handle my life and self anymore. I'm beating down telling myself I am giving up slowly. But, everyday I have gave up. This is a no joke so don't think it is

I was crying and saying I won't hurt myself, but I was lying. I wanted to really bad because I gave up on everything I had. This is not a joke I have like no friends in real life because everyone hates me. But, online I have tons of friends who do relate to me. Like, depress, youtubers, tv shows, and more. I feel so connected on finding people who relates to me in anyway

But, I am gonna go on break but soon