The Mesh (Raura)

Chapter 40

December 19th, 8pm

Laura's POV

Anna went to Jasper's place early today, before the gathering even started. I guess she wanted to act like a housewife and help Jasper with his preparations. Then I am the one who is acting lovesick.. Bullshit.

Yesterday was exactly two months since Ross and I started dating. We haven't done anything fancy but our time together was more than enough. Since we couldn't actually go somewhere because of my foot, he placed me in his car and drove to his mom's apartment. It was empty because she went early in the morning, traveling back to Boston to spend the weekend with her husband.

We had dinner on the terrace which they surrounded with tough glass on the winter days. Of course, there was music, the kind we both loved, a lot of cigarettes, and a little alcohol, not leaving out the lovemaking afterward... It was kind of funny when we did it with my hurt ankle because we were constantly searching for positions I would be comfortable in. I kept holding my ankle in the air where it didn't hurt as much as possible. I find myself laughing as I recall last night.

Of course, I slept over but we fell asleep late at night, or early in the morning, however you see it. Five thirty was our bedtime and we woke up at three afternoon, having breakfast for lunch together.

I only recently sent everyone a text saying that I won't be attending the party. My leg's a mess and I am really tired. Today was the literature exam that I studied for. I think I did good but I overdid it with my studying. I need to rest if I want to spend a nice time celebrating Ross' birthday that is tomorrow.

I'm not a fan of birthdays, I don't even celebrate mine. I'll be happy for Ross' sake since he seems to like those kind of things.

Speaking of him, he insisted on staying with me so I wouldn't be left alone but I refused. He wanted to go to that party and I knew it. It would be a waste to miss it for me. So I somehow made him attend.

Reading books and comics and drinking Nesquik this evening is completely satisfying. Time for myself was what my soul craved.

Ross' present is in the corner of the room. It's a medium sized box, capable of being held by two hands, color of the box is yellow and the inside is filled with Red Hot Chili Peppers' new album and Eckhart Tolle's book 'Stillness speaks'. I also went to Kate's place to bake him a small chocolate cake with caramel syrup spread over it in a huge writing 'Let it Be'. The Beatles wake this harmony between us. He will get it because it's one of our in common songs that we chill together to. Knowing Ross, the present is completely made for him and his desires with all the effort I had in me.

Lying on my bed, completely alone, with a book on my stomach, I find myself wandering here and there. It's as if the mind has left its body and traveled to the other universes of Ross and his small, challenging smile when he speaks about nature.

I've never found myself this captivated by a person alone. Not understanding my own feelings still. I'm just wandering through an unfamiliar territory, living from day to day. Well, I've always lived like that and hated my life. Living on a Prayer says Bon Jovi.

Now I'm kind of starting to love it.

Do I love Ross?

Maybe...

All I know is I am constantly thinking about how he feels, thinks, what he does. 

My phone beeps and I look at the text I just got. It's the person from my fantasies.

Ross: I arrived at Jasper's, just wanted to let u know so u dont worry laur ;) have a nice time reading, I know you're secretly a geek so don't deny it