The Mesh (Raura)

Chapter 41

Vodka in my hand seems to be devouring me, even though it should be the other way around. Colton is by my side while the girls are taking their time together in the bathroom. Honestly, I don't get their need to visit the bathroom as a woman army and chat there about how their makeup looks for a half an hour before coming out. I do my shit solo and get out quickly, not holding up a line. Geez.

The party is fun but I just keep wishing one person was here. I want to see her. It's almost midnight. My senses are low as the space keeps spinning and I make a good drunk decision to take a break from alcohol for a while, just so I could keep drinking later on.

I place my cup at the table and lean back into the leather couch.

"Dammit. ", Colton slurs. "The last time we drank this much we ended up in the hospital. "

He reminds me of a night at my mom's apartment. The night of my and Laura's first kiss. I smile.

"Yeah. Then the day after that, my mom got a complaint about the ruined Porsche and kicked our asses outside to clean our own vomit. ", I add the last part of that little adventure.

My best friend and I begin to laugh at the thought, laughter not giving us a break. What's so funny about being yelled at by your mom and an old rich businessman, heck I don't know. But we laughed from the bottom of our stomachs.

Colton then gives me some sort of sorrowful gaze. I return the look, questioning his feelings. He lands a hand on my shoulder.

"It's always been a great time with you, man. ", he suddenly admits.

My mind is left confused with his sudden seriousness because he's never talked about his feelings. He just always defended me in front of everyone, was there for me even when I wasn't there for myself, went against me to save me, heck he held my ground in one piece with his own hands when it was shattering. He just never mentioned any of that. He did it as if it was natural,  as if that was what he was supposed to do in his life, as if the stars had written it down for us before we were even born.

Colton and Laura have that similarity of not speaking about their essential feelings, only they cover themselves differently. Laura is closed off and often really mean to push people away, while Colton uses his silly side and jokes because he doesn't like to be a burden. He's never been a burden to me though and I always see through his walls. Only now.. they are down.

"Same with you. ", I smile.

"Look, Ross..", he begins and sighs. "I'm worried about you. "

"Why? I'm better than ever.", I confess, saying the truth.

"You are but I'm talking about Naomi moving to Boston and that shit. At some point, you are surely gonna interact with her. She's come here to look for you. "

"Just relax Colton. I've got everything under control. If she brings trouble, I won't get tangled. I'll avoid her. ", I tell him honestly and he stares at me, not really convinced.

"Are you sure you can stay away?"

"Why couldn't I? Get a hold of yourself, man. It's been four years since we broke up and two years since we last saw each other. She's history. ", my protest is totally on place. I feel nothing on the mention of her name, just deep sorrow for what she had done to me. For her fate in general. 

If we had met under different circumstances and had her life been much healthier this would have been a different story from the beginning. Yet, it was what it was. I came to her broken from family betrayals and she came to me broken from her own habits. That's why it simply couldn't work. If both our arms are broken, there's no way to hold onto each other. At least one of us has to be whole.