Just let me in

Chapter 5

Today was a day I could look forward to. Today, after school I had a piano lesson. The rest of the week had been completely miserable. I kept waiting for Daphne and her group to come up to me and somehow know about my self harm. I was waiting for Jax to tell them, even though I knew he was a nice person. I had seen it. I have a problem. When I wonder about a person I sort of see what they're like by being in their past. I now it sounds weird. It's creeped me out so many times I've lost count. We were in maths, and I was wondering when he would tell my bullies about the cutting, when I was sort of in his past. His memories. I saw what I was looking for. Every kind deed he'd ever done. It's like being in one of those flashbacks you see in films, where the person dreaming is watching the memory from the same room, but no one can see them. I've brought other people with me too. Once I took Kris and I into the memory of clemmie's 1st birthday. The worst thing about having this sort of 'power', is that I couldn't control it. At all. I was so glad that I hadn't accidentally taken anyone with me into Jax's mind, or I would've had a lot of explaining to do.

Today had been a quiet day at school. I had managed to avoid daphne and the others, and Jax hadn't told anyone yet. I was walking to kellin's house, when I felt someone staring at me. I turned around to see, speak of the devil, kellin and the others. Kellin was shooting daggers at me. I turned around, shoved my hands in my pockets and walked a bit quicker. When I arrived, I was early to my lesson, and kellin and his friends had come in. A couple of them walked past and said some stuff regarding 'mute', but for some reason Jax gently hit the one who had said it over the head. He gave me a friendly smile and walked past.

"Hi boys!" Carrie, kellin's mother exclaimed enthusiastically. I looked up to see kellin staring at me. He was giving me a confused look, as if he was trying to solve a problem. I was a problem. I shook the thought away. Kellin wouldn't be thinking about me, he had made that painfully clear.

"Kellin? Kellin honey, Kate needs to come past"

"Huh? Oh, sorry." He moved out of the little girls way, thankfully stopped staring at me, and returned to his friends.

"Cassidy? Are you coming?"Carrie asked.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry" I hurried into the piano room, blushing slightly.

"You and Kellin today. Both as uncommunicative as each other." I mumbled a 'yeah' back, and sat down.

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I finished my lesson, and exited the room, making my way to the door. I had heard kellin's friends leave earlier, so was a little more relaxed. Carrie had another student, so I let myself out. Just as I was about to shut the door someone grabbed my wrist, and I turned around to see those green eyes that could only belong to Kellin. I tried to pull free, but he had a strong grasp, on the wrist with healing cuts.

"Kellin. Let go, you're hurting me." He reluctantly let go.

"And why does it hurt so much, huh Cassidy?" He replied coldly.

"Oh look, you remember my name." I knew what I had said was harsh, and this proved right from the shocked look on his face. "You were expecting the old Cassidy, right? Well, she changed." I turned and walked away from him. I was about to undo the front gate when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Cassidy, wait." I sighed.

"What, Kellin? What?"

"What happened to you?"

"Life, Kellin. Life happened." He was getting frustrated at my cryptic answers.

"Look just tell me why you-"

"Why should I tell you anything?! You're not my best friend anymore! A lot changed, ok? A lot of people walked out on me, and your not one of those people I want back in my life! You made it clear that you don't want me back in yours either! So, just stay the hell away from me!" I walked away from him, and then started to run. I didn't know where I was running to but I just kept on going forward. I reached a park sort of in between mine and Kellin's houses, and sat on an empty bench where no one could see me. I started crying. I cried out what had been bottled away inside of me since he had said those words to me, since I knew my life was unfolding in front of me. I had loved Kellin at one point in my life, and maybe if I wasn't such a coward and had told him that, I wouldn't be sat alone on a Friday evening in a park. I hugged my knees to my chest and stared out in front of me.

I heard footsteps and soon saw a pair of Black VANS in front of me. I looked up and saw, who of course, Kellin. I sighed.

"What do you want?"

"You wanna know what I want? I want you to forgive me. I want things to go back to the way they were, but most of all, I want my friend back." I looked up at him, and he shot a me a nervous smile. I looked in his mind, and found the memory of the day he had said those things to me. I saw how guilty he had felt. I knew that he really did want to be my friend again.

"Ok. I'll forgive you. I want my friend back too. But things won't go back to the way they were. Too much has changed. Not just between us, but.... other things." He took my hand and pulled me into a massive hug.

"Thank you, Cassidy. I don't deserve you."

"Anything for a friend." I smiled at him, and he stood up.

"So, are we going home?"

"Uh, yeah."

"I'm gonna walk you home. I don't want you walking home in the dark." He said a bit awkwardly. Suddenly, I realised that he couldn't come back with me. He would realise that I was alone. I would have to explain.

"No! I can walk home."

"Cassidy, don't be so stubborn. I'm coming with you."

"No you're not. I'm a big girl Kellin. I can walk home by myself."

" I know you can. I never said you couldn't." He felt bad. I knew I was being unreasonable and difficult, but I couldn't tell him why. I decided to just give in. I had just got him back. I wasn't going to let him go again that easily.

"Fine. Let's go."

"Thanks."

"Why are you thanking me?"

"I just... I'm .... uh.... I'm really glad we're friends again. I missed you." He wrapped an arm around me and squeezed. I missed him too. Everything about him I had missed. but most of all I had missed having a friend.

"I missed you too, Kel." We walked home and I told him all about myself, well almost all about me. We talked about new hobbies, and our interests, he told me about his brothers, and they both seemed so grown up now. I really had missed this. Someone I could talk to. Someone who would listen. Someone who would be there for me. That someone was Kellin. It had always been Kellin. It always would be Kellin.