Just let me in

Chapter 22

[ Jesse's P.O.V ]
We all ate, but Cassidy didn't. She had only taken a bit of salad whilst the rest of us had pasta. I watched her when we all sat in the lounge. She sat in the corner on the floor and just stared at the plate in front of her like it was the most evil thing in the world. She suddenly got up and went into the kitchen. I decided to let her be and joined in on the conversation that the others were having. I didn't realise that Kellin was missing. As soon as I realised I jumped up and walked into the kitchen.
[Cassidy's P.O.V]
I put the salad on the counter and started to wash up the rest of the dishes.
"You don't have to do that you know." A pair of arms snaked around my waist and I stiffened.
"Kellin." I breathed.
"Shh. Don't say anything just stay like this with me." I tried to get away from him but he just tightened his grip on me which made me yelp in return. "Cassie. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, but I can't let you go. And I won't." He was close to crying. I saw it. He wanted to apologise badly. He wanted me back. But he had hurt me. I didn't want to be hurt anymore.
"P...please. Kellin, please." I stared at my feet hoping he would let go, but he didn't.
"I...im sorry Cass! I...please I don't... I don't wanna lose you but you're pushing me away. Please don't."
"I have to."
"B...but why?" He let me go and I turned around to see his face full of pain. I looked straight into his eyes and instantly knew it was a mistake, because they broke me. Again. Just as they always did. The tears came before I even realised. "That's all I ever do. I'm so useless! Urgh!" He raised his voice and shouted. I flinched, and backed away from him. He picked up a glass and threw it at the wall, and I felt myself sink onto the floor.
"Oh, no." I whispered.
He was screaming. He picked up all the plates that I had just finished cleaning and one by one threw them in different directions. I clenched the envelope in my hand tighter. Where was Louis? Why couldn't he be here to keep me safe. Why couldn't he take me with him. He promised. He promised dad that he would, so where was he? And then the voices started.
He's gone because no one can love you. You're so stupid and ugly and just a waste of space.
Then he turned on me.
"You stupid brat! You can't even clean these plates properly. Your stupid piece of shit brother is gone and will probably rat us out now. Where will you go then? He left because he doesn't love you. No one will. I don't love you. She doesn't love you. Your brother didn't love you. And neither did your worthless parents." He picked me up and threw me toward the wall, and then he left.
I was shaken out of my state by Jesse.
"Hey, Cass. Cass? Talk to me." I was shaking but just sat on the floor and rocked myself back and fore. He said he'd come back for me. I tore my gaze away from the floor when I felt a pair of arms wrapping around me. I screamed and raced up the stairs before slamming the door, locking it and curling up at the foot of my bed. Where had it all gone wrong? Before long I was in the bathroom holding the piece of shiny metal to my wrist. I couldn't being this damaged anymore. I just couldn't take it. I stared at my bloody wrist as I started to feel light headed. I quickly cleaned up and made my way out of the bathroom before collapsing on the bed.
[Jesse's P.O.V]
"What the fuck?! What did you do to her?!" I picked Kellin up and lifted him by his t-shirt.
"N...nothing. I swear. I just got mad and threw the plate at the wall. I didn't touch her!" I dropped him on the floor and turned my attention to Cassidy. Her eyes were glazed over and she stared into space with a permanent look of fear etched onto her face. I knew what was happening. She was having one of her freaky flashback things. She must have thought of something when Kellin flipped out.
"Hey, Cass. Cass? Talk to me." She snapped awake suddenly and started to shake. She clutched herself tighter into a ball and I sighed. I went to pick her up, but she screamed and before I knew it she had sprinted up the stairs. I decided to give her some time to herself and left Kellin in the kitchen to tidy up before returning to the others.