Just let me in

Chapter 23

[Jesse's P.O.V]
We'd just been out for coffee and to pick up some groceries. The others and I were only staying for a couple more days. Cassidy had gone upstairs last night. She was usually a morning person which gave me a surprise this morning, as she wasn't up. I decided to leave her for a bit to see if she woke up, and luckily she did. I was about to reach the stairs when I saw her walk down them. She was deathly pale and her eyes looked tired.
"Cassie? Honey, C'mere." I held my arms out for her and she collapsed into them. I pulled her into me, knowing that if I let go she would crumble at my feet. My shoulder was wet with we tears, but why was she crying? "Hey, hey baby. Let's get some food in you and then we'll talk ok?" She weakly nodded. I was expecting her to fight back at the mention of food. She didn't look right. She looked to weak and sick. I grabbed her hand and she leant into me while we walked to the kitchen. I bent down and whispered into her ear, "do you want me to carry you baby?" She shivered and I chuckled. She shook her head and turned to slap my shoulder.
"Don't do that!" She whined but was trying to hide her laughter. But it was weak. She was weak, and it scared me.
"Will you eat?" She turned to look at me, as if for advice, until she sighed.
"Ok." She whispered.
"Thank you, Cassie." We got to the kitchen and I made her some cereal. She was sat at the table fiddling with her fingers. I placed the bowl and slid into the seat opposite her. She stared at the bowl for a while before hesitantly picking up the spoon to eat it, which made me sigh in relief.
"Do you want to go out, Cass? You haven't been out in a while. I don't blame you though." She dropped her spoon back into the bowl and pushed it away looking down at her hands. I could read her. She felt guilty. She knew that I knew her too well so she looked up to see my face full of concern.
"I...i tried. I promise I did, but I couldn't do it. I'm sorry, Jess."
"Don't worry bout it honey. I tried to get rid of him but he wouldn't leave. Will you eat a bit more? Just for me?" I tried the puppy dog eyes but failed miserably and ended up cross eyed which made her laugh, but she picked up the spoon and ate some more. "I'm going to go and check with the others. Do you want to go out to talk or...?"
"No. Can we stay?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. We can go out later though."
"Ok, Cassie. I'll come and get you in a minute."
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[Cassidy's P.O.V]
As soon as I saw Jesse turn the corner I raced up the stairs. I had passed out last night and woken up covered in blood this morning. I looked awful, and to top it off I had eaten, so the voices just wouldn't leave me alone. But I wouldn't cut. I couldn't. He would be mad. I lifted my jumper to check my bandages, when I was interrupted by a knock at my door.
"Cassidy?" I froze. Why was he here? I was scared of him now. He brought bad memories. "Cassidy are you in there? What are you doing? Hey, Cass open the door!" He was banging.
"N...no." I squeaked.
"Please. Please Cass! Are you ok? W...what..." Silence. I heard a small click and he burst through the door.
"Kellin." He pulled me into a hug.
"I was so worried. I'm so sorry Cass! I didn't mean to scare you, I....i just got so angry with myself. I can't believe I did that! I would never hurt you. Your my best friend. I need you Cassie. Please stay. I'll understand if you say no, I won't be surprised. I mean, I've been such a dick and you needed me. You needed someone. If you want to leave you should. You shouldn't have to stay here if you're scared of me. I deserve that. You should...should go with Jesse. He's good for you. He knows you almost as well as I do." He said the last sentence with pride. At first I stiffened at how sudden this was. I was sick of this, yet I couldn't stay mad at Kellin. As much as I hated to admit it, I did need him.
"I...I'm staying."
"Y...you are?"
"Yeah," I whispered, "for the boys."
"Oh. But still! Thank you Cassie!" He picked me up suddenly and spun me around, whilst we were both laughing.
"Kel! Put me down or you'll have my breakfast all over your head in a minute!"
"You ate!" I nodded, smiling. I was really smiling. A part of me knew that he was going to hurt me again, but I was trying my best to block the voices out and just enjoy the present. Kellin was the one who taught me that.
"Cassidy? Oh. Kellin. I'll come back."
"Hey, Jesse. Wait. I'm ready."
"Uh yeah ok." I peeked into his mind and he was jealous. But why?
"Uh bye I guess." I whispered to Kellin who was smiling like the Cheshire Cat. I went over to Jesse and he wrapped an arm around my waist protectively and glared at Kellin. Subtlety was never his strong point. He turned us both and we walked towards his room. He squeezed and I gasped as pain shot through me. I jumped away from him.
"Cassie! Shit I'm sorry! I...i completely forgot!" I tried to smile at him but it came out as more of a grimace.
"I...Its ok." I whispered.
"It hurts doesn't it." I nodded. "You go on ahead to my room and I'll go get your pills." I carried on and sat on the bed when I was inside. Jesse soon came in with the pills.
"Thank you." I swallowed them dry hopefully the pain would stop, and the bleeding.
"So, what happened last night, Cass. You flipped out. You flinch every time someone comes near you and don't think I don't notice it. Even if I hold your hand or hug you, you freeze before you relax. It's not right. I know you've always had trust issues and I bet the shit that max has given you doesn't help," I shuddered at the mention of his name. Just knowing that he was downstairs was scary. "I mean, why Cass. You used to be like this with me as well, but you know me. I know you. You don't need to be scared of me, honey, or of Kel. He won't hurt you. I just want to know why. I know you have those flashback things but I just want to know what goes on in your mind, what you remembered, so I can help you. Or we can get help, I don't know." I breathed in deeply, trying to prepare myself for what I was going to do next.
"Ok. Your right. I trust you Jes. I...i uh I'm going to show you." I shut my eyes. I wasn't ready to see this again. But I had to. For Jesse. I shut my eyes and pictured him. Pictured Louis and the letter. But this time Jesse was with me.

A.N
Sorry for the late updates guys
Thanku soooooooooo much to everyone reading this I seriously cannot believe the reads I honestly can't Thanku guys sooooooooo soooooo much :) <3 stay strong your all amazing people :)