Just let me in

Chapter 15

Cassidy's P.O.V

As soon as we got into the huge shopping centre the boys went crazy. They all ran off in different directions. Mikey and Josh didn't bring they're phones, so, much to his disappointment, Kellin had to give them his. They went off to some other shops together while Kellin and I went after clothes. We went into a couple of shops and bought a few Tshirts and I had picked up a couple of pairs of skinny jeans. We had a deal today. Kellin paid for everything I bought or picked up and I, after about an hour of persuading and shopping at the same time, was paying for lunch. We went into the Vans store and Kellin picked up two pairs for Josh and Mikey as a surprise. I went around to have a look. There was no way I was going to let him buy me vans. My old ones were good enough. So they had a couple of holes in them? I could still walk in them. Kellin came back with two boxes tucked under his arm and one hand behind his back, evil smirk in place.

"What did you do?"

"Me?" He mocked being offended and raised his voice a bit, which kind of scared me. Luckily he didn't notice me flinch away from him quickly. "And why would you think I did anything?"

"C'mon. Behind you're back?"

"I'll tell you once we leave."

"Ok."

We left the store as he had already paid as I looked around. I didn't realise I had taken so long, as he seemed to have gone to another shop without me. "What are the other bags?" I asked him.

"Band shirts! For both of us don't worry. There's some band bracelets and stuff in there as well." He saw my face light up and I went and threw my arms around him.

"I can't believe you bought all that for me, Kel."

"Well you better believe it, Cass. You're one of the best things that ever happened to me. I love you and just remember that I'll always be here for you. You can come to me at any time of the day, on any day and I'll listen."

"Thank you, Kel." My voice barely a whisper as I bit back tears. I wanted to tell him but I couldn't. It wasn't the right time.

"Anyways. That's not it."

"You're kidding. Why did you buy this much?!" He just laughed at me. He pulled out from behind his back the nicest pair of Vans I had ever seen. They were black with a space pattern and they were beautiful.

"For you, because you are my universe, and don't you ever forget it, ok?" At this, I couldn't keep myself from crying anymore.

"I won't, Kel. I love you too. I can't believe you! These must have been really expensive though they're really new."

"This is my gift, ok? Early birthday present." I huffed at him, but gave in. We walked around for a bit longer, going in and out shops. He even tried on a prom dress, and that was when Mikey and Josh decided to meet us. Why they decided to come to a dress shop I don't know, except for maybe I texted them while Kellin was putting the dress on, or maybe luck.

"Oh you're evil." The minute they saw Kellin they pulled out his phone and took a million pictures. He gave up trying to hide and pulled me in the pictures with him and started attempting to pose like a supermodel. By the end of it we were all crying with laughter. We walked to nandos with our millions of bags and ate. It was nice. I got to catch up with the boys I didn't realise how much of their lives I had missed. Mikey had grown up so much after losing Clemmie, except he didn't know that he had lost her. It made me wonder if Clemmie would be as grown up as him if she was still alive. I missed her so much. When we got home, the boys made me try on the clothes for them, and they went to put the stuff away for me, while I made some dinner.

"Cass! Come up here a sec?" Josh called. They were in my room. Strange... I walked in to the nicest room I had ever seen. The boys had been out buying decorating things, posters, pictures frames and basically everything you could ever imagine that could be used to decorated a room. I just stood there with my mouth open as I looked around at the pictures they had put up, a few from today even, the posters and just all of it. They'd even managed 2 find a really old photo of Mikey, Clemmie, Joshua, Kris, Kellin and I. It was amazing. I was speechless so I just ran over to them and pulled them into the biggest hug of all time. Neither of us said anything, just stood there in a group hug. God I had missed this. Missed being loved. Silent tears went down my cheeks. We stayed like this until I heard a loud beeping from the kitchen.

"Oh, shit! I left the chicken in the oven!" I ran down the stairs, followed by the boys who were laughing at me.

I managed to get the food out without burning it, and we sat down by the TV and watched a movie.

(Skips to afterwards coz I'm lazy :P)

"Hey mike!" I called after him. I had almost finished cleaning up and the other two had disappeared upstairs to sleep.

"Mhm?" I had felt so guilty all day, especially about Mikey because he deserved to know. Clem was his best friend. It must have hurt him when she just disappeared with no explanation.

"Just... wait for me?" Me chuckled lightly

"Ok Cass." I finished up quickly and went upstairs behind Mikey.

"I'm uh just gonna change, but I uh need to tell you something." There was no going back now. At this she looked concerned but soon smiled.

"Ok, just come over when your ready." He disappeared into his room. I quickly closed the door of my room and changed into a pair of pyjamas. I went into the bathroom to wash up. When I was done, I stared at my reflection. My eyes looked tired and there were dark circles underneath, and my eyes looked dull. My hair was knotted from me playing with it because of my nerves, and I was pale. I could feel myself shaking, but I had to tell him. I had to.

Knock

"Cass? Are you alright? You've been in there for a while."

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine. I'm coming out now." I quickly hurried out and followed Mike to his room. As we got closer to his room I could feel my anxiety levels getting higher and higher. I couldn't stop shaking. Mikey saw I was panicking and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. I gave him a weak smile in return, but it was unconvincing and he shook his head. I went in and sat on the bed. I had no clue how to tell him this. He sat down next to me.

"It's about Clemmie."

"You don't have to tell me Cass. Don't feel pressured or anything."

"No, I...No. I want to."

"Ok, but stop if you don't want to carry on I'll understand. It was clearly something bad."

"I...it was. Well, uh, Clemmie's dead." A sob broke out and before I knew what was happening, Mikey was hugging me tightly. I could feel him crying on my shoulder, silently. "I..it's ok, Mike. Cry." I heard his sobs and I felt his body shudder as what I had just told him sunk in.

"H...how?"

"In a car crash. With the others."

"S..so Kris as well?" I just nodded and avoided his gaze. "And it was my fault. They...they came b..back for me." I sobbed into his chest for what felt like hours.

"Who? Cass? Are you in danger? Because we can tell the police and-" I cut him off.

"No! No they uh they said it was a hit and run, but it was them."

"Who, Cass?"

"The... the people who killed my parents. My real parents."

"W...what do you mean real parents?"

"I was adopted. My brother ran out on me and left me and well they adopted me." I decided to leave out the details. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

"Oh, Cassidy! I'm so sorry!" He pulled me into a hug. "You're so strong, Cass." He kept saying this under his breath." I pulled out Clemmie's bear. I had slipped it in my pocket earlier.

"She c...called it Mikey. Because she loved it. And she loved you. She'd want you to have it." He pulled me in for yet another hug. After a couple of minutes I felt tears on my head. I just held onto him and silently passed him the bear. He held it tightly and we just sat there and hugged for a while. After a while I was exhausted, and from the looks of it so was Mikey. We fell asleep hugging.