All I Want • Alex Gaskarth (Adoption)

Back

Six hours later, I anxiously watch Alex's black range rover pull up to Sarah's house. My hands are shaking but I ignore them. The second he stops and gets out of the car, I tear out of the house and run to him as fast as I could. The second I get to him, I wrap my arms around him in a strangling hug around his neck and I don't let go. He holds onto me just as tight, his breath shaky. I could tell he's crying; which is okay because I am too.

I don't know how long we stood there for. I didn't want to move. We held onto each other in a tight hug and neither of us wanted to end it. "I'm so sorry," I whisper.

"Shh, it's okay. Let's not talk about it now," Alex says. I nod into his neck and don't say anything else.

"This is so cute," I hear Sarah say from behind us. I smile and hesitantly let go of Alex. He reaches his hand out to Sarah.

"Thank you so much for taking care of her. I don't know what I would have done if anything would have happened to her. I was afraid something had," Alex speaks as he shakes Sarah's hand.

I look down, knowing I'd have to tell him someday about the hitchhiking incident. The look on Sarah's face to me shows that she's thinking the same thing.

"Anytime. I can't believe she made it all the way here from Baltimore. I'm glad she's safe. I'm happy you two can now rekindle and make things better. Thank you for caring about her. It's what she needs."

-

A half hour after being reunited with Alex, we're on our long road trip back home.

"I'm exhausted," I say, letting out a breath. It's true. My feet are sore, I don't even want to think about standing up. I'd been awake over 24 hours and I just wanted to shower and sleep.

"Me too. I haven't slept since I woke up at 3 in the morning to talk to you, and I couldn't find you in your room. The boys are a mess. The police couldn't find you, they've been looking everywhere. I was scared," he said quietly, glancing at me. I didn't look back at him, I felt too bad.

"I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say.

"We'll talk about that some other time. It's okay for now. You were mad."

He can't be this understanding about me leaving and managing to get to a city six hours away. "I hitchhiked."

He instantly hit his brakes and then regained control. "You WHAT?"

I sheepishly glanced out the window so I wouldn't have to see the look on his face. "I didn't die. But I hitchhiked. I'm sorry. If it helps any, only a weird man and Sarah drove me. Could have been worse," I shrugged.

"Could have been WORSE? You know what, honestly I'm not going to get into that. You're safe, the weird man didn't hurt you - did he?" He looked at me and I shook my head. "Okay. You're safe. We'll be okay. I told the police already. And Lex, I'm sorry too. I should have told you from the beginning. I swear, everything I've said to you is the truth. You're my daughter, I love you, nothing will change that. I just initially sought out a child because I was... encouraged. The second I saw you, I wanted you. I could see myself as your dad. I want to teach you everything. I want to teach you how to be a responsible adult. You're getting older. You're not a helpless kid anymore. You have a family. It's time to start acting like it. You're not a foster kid, either. You're adopted, you're my daughter. Enough with the pity, okay?"

I took in everything he said, I know he was being harsh out of love. "Yes, okay. I get it. I'm sorry. I want to be better."

He gives me a sad look and doesn't say anything. I'm okay with the comfortable silence. We continue our way home. My home.

-

We have been home for 45 minutes and neither of us have moved off of the couch. I'm too exhausted to move. I think Alex is too. We didn't speak much, the rest of the guys had just left 10 minutes ago. They came by to yell at me for leaving but also hug me because they missed me. I can't lie, I may have cried a little but I didn't tell them that.

"I'm going to bed. I can't feel my eyes. I think they're gone. I don't know. Good night, I love you," I say to Alex before booking it out of the living room.

"Love you too, we'll talk tomorrow," he calls from his permanent spot on the couch.

That night I slipped into a dreamless sleep.

-

"Get up, come on, I've been trying to wake you up for an HOUR." I shake my head and ignore Alex as he kicks my bed, pulls my blanket off of me, and lays down on his back next to me.

"Mmm," I groan. I put my head under my pillow. I don't know what time it is but I DO know that it's too early to be awake.

As though he can read my thoughts, Alex says, "It's four in the afternoon. Get up."

My head immediately shoots up. "FOUR?" He grins and nods. I've been asleep for so long. My body feels refreshed though. I feel like I could sleep another twelve hours but this is close enough, I guess. I slowly lay my head back down and let out a yawn. "I'm so sleepy," I tell Alex.

Alex chuckles. "I can tell. I was too, I woke up just an hour ago. But it's four now and if you don't get up, you'll never sleep later and I'm not too fond of the idea of you being awake all night... with what happened last time."

"Okay, okay, point taken, I'm awake. Harsh," I lightly smack his arm. "Now get off my bed, you're going to ruin it."

His face is immediately overcome with a false-hurt look. "And you say I'M harsh? That was just mean. You can't talk to your father like that, I'll ground you."

"As though I'm not grounded for life already."

"God, kid, you're so smart that you know your punishment before I even have to say anything. Prouda you."

———————————

Sorry it's short, just wanted to get this out there! I'm trying to get through this book because I've been working on it since I was like 15, it's been years. I've got some stuff coming though. Thanks for sticking with me!