All I Want • Alex Gaskarth (Adoption)

Goodbye, Tour

"Dad, please. I have seen your set a million times now. Can't I just skip tonight's? There's a new episode of Law and Order on, I can't miss it." I stare at Alex with puppy-dog eyes as he gives me the same look in return. He's so needy and insists I watch their show every single night. Always loves a captive audience... literally.

"Lex, come on, I don't play as well if you're not there. I guess you could say you're my... MUSE. I can't leave you here alone on the bus." He laughs when he calls me his muse, but resumes his pleading look right after. Jack says I do the same thing when I'm begging. Like father, like daughter, I suppose.

I lock my fingers together and hold my fist near my chin, upping my puppy-dog face. "Pleaaaase, Dad. I love you, but your show gets kind of boring. No offense, I love you."

Alex feigns a look of shock and hurt. "You just broke my heart," he says as he clutches his chest.

And just like that I'm suckered into watching my dad play their millionth show. Somehow, I don't mind being forced to watch their set again. Never gets old, but it sure does get boring after so long.

-

The whole tour flies by a lot quicker than I'd imagined it would. All Time Low busts ass, getting through all the meet and greets, soundchecks, shows, over and over. They keep playing Missing You every single night of tour, a habit I secretly wished they'd drop. I loved the song to the moon and back, but it hurts hearing it every day. On the other hand, the song means the world to me, so hearing it time and time again helped me through all my bad days - which happened a lot.

Alex and I still fought occasionally, which really wasn't an ideal arrangement when you're on a tour with the guy and there's no place you can go. I made a promise not to run either. That was a pain in the ass sometimes, because dads just have a way of getting on your last nerve. That was one dad-habit he'd gotten quite well at.

But the fighting never lasted long. We would hug and make up, life would go back to normal... as normal as it could be for us, anyway. He was surprisingly becoming a better parent a lot faster than he used to. He's learning, a fact that I appreciated more than anything. He's less temperamental and annoying, giving me some space like he never used to. Space was nice, because I'm constantly surrounded by people here and that's overwhelming. Mixed between all the fans, bands, and crew, it was hard to be alone. Alex understood that, and gave me that time when he could. But he was a parent and couldn't give COMPLETE space, sadly. Sometimes I missed my time with Miss Marie when I could just hang out in my room for days on end. Whenever I thought about how I missed it, I'd remember how much my life is filled with love now, so I'd immediately feel guilty for thinking about it. That life was behind me and this was my life now. I can't think about what I could be doing.

Alex never bothered me anymore about what happened in my past, I could tell he was curious about it because sometimes I'd still flinch at harsh noises or him yelling (not always at me). But he never asked about it. Just if I was alright. I was grateful that he let my past stay behind me. He knew everything that happened, but I'm sure he wants further details that just don't matter. This is the present.

I also have spent the whole tour learning everything about music and production development and live shows. I got to watch all the sound and light guys configure their, you know, lights and sound. It was really cool. Plus hearing all these bands I liked every day live was pretty sweet.

Tour wasn't too bad.

-

Unfortunately, the long tour came to and end just as soon as it began. The days flew by, and by the last day I started to miss the beginning of tour. Ending the tour means going home and possibly to school, life would return to normal for me. For the bands and crew, the last day meant partying. Which is what they've been doing. I decided to finish the last round of school work and go for some food - Alex gave me some money to do so as long as I stayed nearby and had my phone with me.