All I Want • Alex Gaskarth (Adoption)

Introductions

They call it an orphanage. I call it hell.

It's not all too bad here, don't get me wrong. It's a decent sized place, and the Caretaker is nice enough.

See, I live in the 'All Girls Building.' There is a separate building for the boys, but it's a mile away from ours. They say it's to 'keep a safe distance.' Nobody knows why, but it's said and done already. Live with it, they tell you.

Our Caretaker is Marie. Or Miss Marie, if you're new. But you get used to her, and you grow fond of the name Marie. At least, that's what I've heard. I always call her Miss Marie.

Me? Well I'm Lexington. It's a weird name for a girl, I know. Make fun of me for it, go ahead. I'm used to it. But if you care enough, people call me Lexi. I'm average, I guess. Maybe a little less. I've been here longer than everyone else. The older girls have ages between thirteen and seventeen. I'm in that group, since I just turned fourteen.

As I mentioned before, the house is a decent size. Actually if you see it from the outside, it's huge. But with the kids here, you need space. Us older girls have half of the house. Then there is a partition in the living room. To anyone else, it's just a door. Open the door, and you'd see what looks like a playroom. That's for ages infant to twelve.

Considering that it's the other half of the house, it's a mirror of our side. They have three floors. As do we. On our first floor is the kitchen, Miss Marie's room, two bathrooms, a closet, and the laundry room. On the second floor are age thirteens' bedrooms. There are so many thirteen years olds, usually. Each has an en-suite. We are all so grateful for that, it'd be horrible to have to share a bathroom.

Anyway, the top floor is everything else. Ages fourteen through seventeen have their bedrooms here. We also have attached bathrooms. That's one difference between the two parts of the orphanage - the little kids don't have attached bathrooms. Lucky us, I guess.

My bedroom is the biggest, apart from the master bedroom. Miss Marie used to keep it empty, for observationals. In case you don't know, observationals are for curious people looking to adopt. They'd stay the night in the observational room. One night only. Our orphanage has quit doing that, because of the pasts' of children here. It makes them uncomfortable. I heard Miss Marie say that it gave some children nightmares.

I've been here over a year. Everyone else here comes and goes quickly. For example, probably every kid here will probably be gone within two months. A new kid in their place.

My room is the best here. The other girls get jealous, but they usually leave soon so what does it matter? I never take time to see how they feel about my room. Not that many actually have come in it, I suppose it's more of a 'rumor' that my room is big.

The room is a bit bigger than the rest. Keep in mind that the other rooms are probably half the size of your room. They're tiny. But mine is bigger. My bed isn't so comfy, but it's a twin mattress. Again, bigger than the other kids have.

As for being here longer, I have privileges. Let me explain what I mean.

With privileges, my room has more. I have a desk in the corner of my room. It's black, and a spin-chair with it. My desk holds my laptop, which I got a week ago on my fourteenth birthday. Near my bed is a clothing dresser, which holds my clothes (as you probably guessed). On top of that, I have a cable television. Nobody else does.

That's not the best of my room. You could be thinking, "that's not even good. Shut up." But think, I'm in a home for kids without parents. Don't take things for granted. I love my things. They're a part of me. And if you are lucky enough to have a desk, it's basically a luxury. Take care of your luxuries. Anyway, onto the best part of my room.

I have a balcony. This is the main reason kids in my building hate me. The door to the balcony is near the foot of my bed. It has two doors: the wooden door like you probably have, and the screen door. Once you step on the balcony, you can see a lot of the city. I have chicken wire covering the bars (for a reason I'll get to). It's not that big of a balcony, but it's worth it. It's the only reason I like the orphanage.

At night, you can watch the sun settle over the city. It's the most beautiful thing I've seen. It settles behind the trees far away from me. And the stars come out, and it's an amazing view.

The scenery makes living here alright. It's not good - of course not. But it makes it... a little more bearable.

Lastly, I have another privilege. Well, two. I do online school. Miss Marie got sick of seeing the new bruises I would come home from school with. The many times my nose was broken, lip busted. It helps, then I don't have to deal with the idiots at school. I was actually the one who finally suggested it, and Miss Marie said she'd talk to my social worker. She said she wasn't sure how it'd go, since everyone has to go to public school. But she'd try.

In the beginning, my social worker was highly against the idea of homeschool. "She needs to be by children her age," she would say. I, oh so dearly, wanted to flip her off or yell at her. As usual, I didn't. Responding isn't the key to winning.

My social worker finally gave in, saying that my health would be best fit with homeschool. So here I am, a homeschooled orphan with only two friends. And one of those have fur.

One day as I was walking home, I noticed a tiny kitten on the side of the road. She was wet and shaking, and so skinny. I made my way slowly to her, wrapping her in my jacket. She's a month old now. Back then she was only a week old. She was left without parents as a baby, like myself.

I took her to the orphanage with me that day. After hours of (mostly) silent begging, Miss Marie let me keep her. Nowadays, she is much healthier. She's attached to me, I take care of her. Everybody needs somebody.

I named her Melody. I was going to name her something related to what she looked like, at first. She's grey, with all white paws. I was thinking 'Mouse' or something cheesy like that. But then I decided that since music is a huge part of me, I'd name her after that. Hence the name Melody.

Bands are my thing. If I were to speak to you, I'd tell you about my favorite bands. All Time Low, Bring Me The Horizon, Pierce The Veil, and many more. Something about their lyrics have helped me, and I love that. On my phone, all my music are bands - apart from the lone sound of acoustic guitars. The lyrics have a way of connecting with you, and I notice that their music helps. I need help. And where I can't rely on people, lies in the hand of music.

I guess music - and faith in music - got me where I end up.

~
Well, there's the introduction to Lexi's life. The story will progress and get better (your opinion, really). I've already written a few chapters to see if I can start it, so all I have to do is upload! Thanks for reading :)