All I Want • Alex Gaskarth (Adoption)

King For A Day

It was only yesterday when I was able to talk to Alex. That's still weird for me, knowing that I was actually able to thank him, and possibly even help him. I still remember the look of pure happiness after I told him how he was a good person. Everyone needs to be reassured once in a while, I just never thought Alex would doubt himself. At least I was there to tell him what I thought, and maybe he will think about that when he needs it. I know that I sure will.

Maybe being, you know, in a band and having a tons of fans does take a toll on you. Although there are fans, there also comes the people who try to bring you down. It could have just caught up with him. It always catches up to me. After the same things are told to you for so long, it starts to stick. Don't get me wrong, I know how to ignore hate comments and not take it to heart. But there comes a time when the constant torment can hurt you, and I've felt it. That's why I don't speak to people, because then it'd give them a chance to break me down. That could be what Alex has done, ignoring the hate. Even though he's made mistakes, he's not a bad person. We all make mistakes. It just takes the bigger person to move past it.

Talking with Alex was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I took my chance, and I'm glad I could pour my heart to him. I felt confident and comfortable with him. It feels nice to let down your walls and talk to someone, even if it's only for a moment. I had always thought about what I'd say to Alex if I ever met him. Now I finally had the chance to say it, and I did. I don't regret it at all.

I spent half of the day in my room so far, seeing as it was Saturday and everyone is home from school. It's easier just to play it safe, not even bothering to give the other girls a moment to tell me anything. Plus being in my room alone is nice.

I let my cat out of my room, so she can roam the rooms and halls of the orphanage. Sometimes she never leaves me alone, so I need time away. She's like a mini-human. For example, she argues with me. Yes, a kitten argues with me. I can say, "get off my shoulder," and she'd meow. I'd then say, "yes," and she'd meow again. A constant back and forth war until someone gave in. Cats are complicated.

A knocking sounds at my door. I ignore it, assuming it's someone to mess with me. Or a pizza delivery guy. But I don't think so.

"It's Ember, you jerk," I hear from outside of the door. She already knew what I was thinking - not about the pizza, though.

I chuckled, telling her to come in. She pulls the door open, and takes a seat beside me on my bed.

"So, yesterday was so cool. We finally got to meet All Time Low. Wow," she just smiles, content on the memory. As was I.

"Yeah, I know. I was able to thank Alex. I'm so glad I finally could. At least he knows some people understand what it's all about."

We spent quite a long time talking about All Time Low music and what they were like in person. Putting on the radio during our conversation, we were surprised with 'King For A Day' playing. We both instantly stop talking, slowly smiling at each other.

King For A Day is like our song. When Ember was first new, she didn't talk to me. Nobody did, and I knew that. I had a bad day, and I played my music loudly. Apparently she could hear it from across the hallway, and she ran to the sound of Vic and Kellin's yells. She barged into my room, laughing and singing along. I stared at her for a moment. That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I ended up singing along.

She told me everything about her, once she got comfortable with me. I did the same, realizing it was nice to relate to someone. Ember told me that her father committed suicide when she was a baby, and her mother overdosed when she was twelve. Three years later, she ended up here.

I told her my story. One difference between hers and mine was that my parents didn't commit. And I was only three years old. Since then, I bounced from foster home to foster home. I've lived in many states. Now here I am in Maryland, and I love the state. I guess I've got to the age where I won't go to foster homes any more, and just stay in the orphanage until I'm eighteen. And I'm okay with that now, I never used to be. I've come to accept it. It's a lot easier to be happy - or something like it - once you accept what has happened to you. Move on, be happy.