All I Want • Alex Gaskarth (Adoption)

The Deal

I'd like to think that during these few days of my suspension that I've been productive, maybe taken the time to figure out how to cope with this new school. The actual school part I can deal with, I suppose it's just everything that comes WITH school that makes me wonder. They say high school is the highlight of your life - I have no idea where that phrase came from considering I've been in high school not that long and I want out. It's not a beautiful thing...

So that's why I'm going to try to convince Alex to put me back into online schooling.

It's going to be a pain in the ass and I know it. He's already lectured me about needing the social skills and that I could make my way through public school. That's the thing - I'm so used to how things were before that I find it more difficult to adjust now. I know he's going to reject the idea too quickly but it'd work best. Especially since this means I'll have to bring up the idea that All Time Low will have to tour eventually - this also means that he'd have nothing to do with me, it's either he takes me or ships me off to England to live with his parents. And if you think about it, either way I won't be in public school for the duration of that tour. Not to mention touring in other countries. Online is just more convenient and I can focus much easier, plus it goes at my own pace. It'll be a long shot but I have to try for it.

My suspension ends today, which is a Friday. That gives me two whole days to beg Alex to let me switch schools. I continuously tell myself not to worry, because I actually do have a Plan B: convince Rian that online schooling would be better and force him to beg Alex for me. It's nearly foolproof. In the end he really has no choice but to agree or else I'll spend all my time pouting and make him regret saying no. It will work. I know it will.

I pace around my room, planning what to say to Alex that would convince him to consider it. I've done it before with my social worker and Miss Marie, but Alex is so different and actually has a head on his shoulders and surprisingly trying his hardest to do what's best for me. So I'd understand him wanting me to stay in public school but I just truly cannot force myself to do that for another few years. There's nothing beautiful about high school and I find online schooling to be more peaceful.

Eventually I get tired of pacing and just go downstairs because I just want this to be over with. I reach the bottom and hear Alex's voice coming from the other room, lightly singing while strumming his guitar. I sigh, he hates being interrupted or bothered when he's writing or playing new things. I hear a few words from the new song he's singing;

"I heard that you've been having some trouble finding your place in the world, I know how much that hurts..."

This one is a brand new song, usually I hear him play the same few new ones but I've never heard this one before. I can hear him scratching on paper which means he's changing what he's writing or the notes. I decide to go into the living room instead and just watch Supernatural until he's done.

(A/N: So I just want to point out that I started writing this story back in around 2015 so Future Hearts era. I can't really go back and change some of the lyrics I've put into the story so I'll continue in the era. I'd love to use the LYR album for this story right now just because it's better and bigger but hey we gotta start small. Just so you know, give you an idea of timing.)

Usually he doesn't spend a lot of time practicing and writing, but I guess today must be one of those days where he's full of inspiration and wants to do nothing but he productive. I've never lived with someone like him before. All my past foster parents (I know Alex is different, he's not even my foster parent at this point) just didn't really care about anything except for the money they got for taking care of me. I babysat for them, did their house chores, did the cleaning, had to withstand their anger issues... but Alex? He has his own dreams in which he balances his current band life with taking care of me. I just can't believe someone like him would even WANT a child at this point in their life. He has so much going for him and I'm only an obstacle in his way.. What's going to happen? I know he adopted me, he's into our little family now, but what happens when All Time Low gets even bigger? I'll get in the way of that. I'm still young so legally he has to take care of me above getting drunk and partying with his friends. Did he even think about this? I'm here worried about getting him to let me do online schooling, but is he there channeling his stress and worries and regret about getting me through his music? What have we done?