All I Want • Alex Gaskarth (Adoption)

Old Scars/Future Hearts

The next day, Alex insisted that we go sit in the park. I agree because we haven't actually talked very much about anything. He said it was a bit secluded, it will be nice to finally get out of the house for once. He also took my phone, so I won't be tempted to use it and ignore him (which was what I planned on doing).

Once I got dressed in my usual skinnies and a baseball tee - a Merrick one - Alex grabbed his car keys and led me out. The ride to the park was oddly silent, yet it wasn't uncomfortable. I'm glad for this because I didn't want to feel the silence and it didn't seem like Alex minded the quiet either.

The car stopped a few moments later, and we both open our doors at the same time. He laughs and came around to me, lightly placing his arm around my shoulders.

"This park is nice. Not many people come here, I only come here when I can. I think you'll love it. There's benches on the other side..." And he went on, explaining each tree and sidewalk step like he's seen them since they were first made. Maybe he has.

When we reach the benches, we sit down and keep the silence. He was right, the area was perfect. You can hear the birds singing their songs, the squirrels scavenging for food, and the minor breeze passing through. We were content. I hear him slightly turn, coughing a little bit.

"So, um," he starts.

I laugh. "Yes?"

Alex glances at me, then fumbles with his beanie. "How long have you been in the foster system?"

He sounds really nervous. It was alright, considering I've been asked this a lot.

I pause before answering. "A long time."

"How long?" His mouth turns lopsided, worried.

"Doesn't really matter, does it? I'm in it, and most likely will always be. It never really... leaves you."

"But how long? I'd like to know," he mumbles.

"You'd think for being in your late-twenties you'd be better at asking questions to children," I smile.

Alex stretches and takes a deep breath, composing himself an planning what to say next. "What happened to them? To your - to your parents? What happened to you?" He scoots closer to me, comforting me with his proximity. Not too close but not too far.

I sigh. I mean, I could talk about this. But do I really want to? I don't tell anyone these things for a reason. Well, it IS Alex, but is it worth telling?

"Alright."

Alex looks at me while I was trying not to look at him. "Alright?"

I nod. Realizing I don't have much to lose, I started my story.

"My parents were great people, from the bits and pieces I remember and through what people told me. We were your cliche suburban family. With a caring, stay-at-home mother and a father who took me places and worked. I had a babysitter, for when my parents weren't home. It all happened when I was three. My babysitter and I were watching cartoons because my parents went out for the night. My babysitter, Nancy, had said we could stay up until my parents arrived - they should be getting home soon. I know this through what Nancy told me about the day. So I stayed up, happy to not have to go to sleep. My parents were never were out past 10:00. This time though, they did. We didn't think much of it, there could have been traffic or they just may have stayed out late. 11:00 came around," I stopped then to take a deep breath.

Alex rested his hand on my shoulder, comforting me and prompting me to go on. I looked over to the trees, anywhere but directly at him. His hand stayed. I didn't tell him to move it.