Thantophobia

3

Nobody could ever replace you.

H

Flashbacks to the past 5 years

**

I look back over my shoulder one last time. My mom is hugging my dad and sister while crying. Frankie and his parents are waving and smiling. Ellie looks broken. I hate that I'm leaving her. She still has her brother and her parents, even mine too. We've become closer these last few years and I've never felt so attached to someone in my life. Even when we were kids, we were always there for each other. I turn my head before I start crying and board the plane away from the most important things in my life.

Once I got to London, I got a taxi to the house I'll be sharing with a few other guys while at University. I haven't been to England in years but I'm sure not much has changed. It's still dreary and rainy 24/7. Once I got to the house the guys tell me where my room is. I get settled in and unpack my things. I take out two picture frames. One of my family and one of Frankie and Elsie and set them on my desk. I'm already missing home.

**

I've been in my classes for a few weeks and it's draining. I've recently got a job at a Bakery on Campus. I knew this first year wasn't going to be too exciting because of the classes I have to take. All those typical English, Math and Science courses that are required. I haven't really had the chance to go out and see London. I've only made friends with the guys I live with except they are all Junior or Seniors, so they all have experience and better things to do than hang out with a freshman.

**

It's been about four months into University. It's about to be Christmas time and I won't be able to go home for the holidays. I don't have the money to book a ticket and I'm not letting my parents pay that much for me since they have been having their own financial troubles. I've talked to Frankie a few times but never Elsie. I think if I hear her voice I'll get up and leave immediately and go back home. I've asked Frankie about her and he tells me her junior year is going well. I just want her to be happy.

**

I met this girl on New Year's. Her name is Brooklyn. We were both at a party and alone. She seems pretty cool and she kissed me at midnight. Something I wasn't expecting. She is studying Fashion and Merchandising. I'm not really looking for anything, but I won't be opposed to it either.

**

Brooklyn and I are officially together. It's April now and we've gotten to know each other pretty well. She was born and raised in London. Her parents are both doctors and were never home. She says she was really lonely but had lots of friends in high school. I've heard some things about her from other guys, but I don't listen to rumors.

**

It's been a year since I moved to London and I wish I could visit Seattle. I've been working so hard to save up money to go, but I have to pay for my college at the same time. I've called home and even wrote many times. I haven't heard from Frankie in a few months, but we are both super busy. I've only seen what Frankie and Elsie are doing by looking on social media. Which I barely get on because I don't really have a reason to. I've seen Elsie with her friends and she looks happy.

**

Brooklyn has been so clingy lately. It's been really hard to juggle classes, work, and her at the same time when all she wants is my full attention. We've only been together for five months and she has already said she loves me. I haven't said it back because I don't know what love is. I defiantly don't feel that for her yet.

**

My mum called me today and told me my dad was in an accident. I had just finished a class and was walking to work when she rang me. I stopped in my tracks and felt my heart drop. My dad is my inspiration in life. The best dad ever. I couldn't lose him especially when I'm halfway across the world. Turns out She blew the whole thing out of proportion and he just ended up with a broken leg. Thanks mum!