iMessage- Reddie ☼

Yeah, you're telling me 40

All star- smash mouth

Enjoy this hoes, enjoy this good.

Mike; so then he was all like 'rahhh I need to fuck' and I was all like 'good luck bro' and then he said 'you down?' And then I was like 'skrrrrr thanks, but no thanks'

Ben; your life is so wild

Mike; I suppose. Anywho, what's up with you?

Ben; nothing much, I took bev to the mall the other day and people kept hitting on her... the usual.

Mike; I hate when that happens man

Ben; yeah.. but like I get it, if I weren't dating bev id be hitting on her

Mike; we both know that's a lie.

Mike; more like silently pinning in a corner

Ben; lol true asf

Mike; yo, you wanna hang with me and bill tn?

Ben; what are you guys gonna do?

Mike; idk, order pizza and watch Netflix or something.

Ben; wait just you two?

Mike; yeah, I thought he'd have everyone over... but his parents said 'it's a school night' even though we are seniors and school is almost over

Ben; did you hear Richie is the valedictorian

Mike; just every single second from Stan

Ben; well I mean he did work really hard to be the valedictorian

Mike; but just because Richie is like some prodegy child and has a photographic memory or something doesn't mean Stan has to talk about how he was 'robbed of his future by his best friend who never gave two shits about school'

Ben; he tried to decline

Mike; yeah, the dumbass guidance counselor said no

Ben; at least he tried... sorta

Ben; also, yes. I would like to come over bills tonight

Mike; lit lit ill let him know

Ben; oki!

Mike; see you at bills then.

Ben; what time should I be there?

Mike; he told me whenever

Ben; ok what time are you going over there?

Mike; when I finish this paper for the English exam next week

Ben; and that will be???

Mike; like an hour

Ben; ok. See you in an hour.

Mike; see you then pal

- mike to bill-

Mike; is it ok if Ben comes over

Bill; yes!

Mike; cool

Bill; I wish everyone could come over

Mike; yeah. Stupid parents and their dumb looking out for their children and shit like that

Bill; right! Trying to better me for the future! Wtf is wrong with them?!

Mike; yeah! Lol

Bill; im so glad the author is giving me screen time!

Mike; yeah, what's up with that? You an bev... I'm honestly shook.

Bill; its like the only people that matter to her are Richie eddie and Stan.. not particularly in that order

Mike; yeah, we all know the order is Stan, Richie, eddie

Bill; haahaha

Mike; the readers are gonna get mad at her for doing this

Bill; ok, but she has nothing else to write about.

Mike; what are you talking about? The world is her oyster. All she has to do is grab it by the balls

Bill; oysters don't have balls

Mike; they have pearls

Bill; okay... true, but like not really

Mike; aww dude, just let me live

Bill; lol ok man.

Mike; hey guys welcome back to my YouTube channel! Today we are going to be talking about how my boyfriend Stan is literally one of the cutest humans to ever walk planet earth!

Bill; that sounds like a video everyone would watch

Mike; right! Should I start a YouTube channel?

Bill; yeah and when you get famous for whatever it is you do and David wants to colab, don't forget about me

Mike; like I could forget you,billy

Bill; omg that reminds me!

Bill; Henry asked me to get him a discount at walmart

Bill; like... walmart is the discount,

Mike; lol. Yeah, hows your job really going

Bill; well at first I hated it cause I didn't know anyone, but now its just fine because I've made a couple acquaintances and I know what I have to do now

Mike; is there any juicy gossip

Bill; romell might be prego

Mike; ok who's that

Bill; so you know how I met rosa at walmart my first day

Mike; yeah, she was looking for something and you were looking for the same thing blah blah blah and then you thought she looked pretty but you accidentally said it out loud instead of in your head blah blah blah and now its seven months later and you still haven't really met her parents and she is getting mad at you

Bill; thanks for that.

Bill; anyway, romell is her friend who works at the subway in walmart and sometimes we have our breaks at the same time and now we are sorta maybe friends but like idrk anyway she was telling me how at the party at Drew's house last week her and her boyfriend got super drunk and ya know... did the dance with no pants... and she said she doesn't remember if he had a condom and she isn't on the pill and she never took a morning after pill because she didn't think of it until like three days ago

Mike; aw dude, rip her boyfriend

Bill; but I think she's happy about it because they are like in love or some shit like that

Mike; lol I'm glad I'm with a dude :)

Bill; I'm glad I'm with a girl who doesn't wanna have sex till marriage

Mike; woah, really

Bill; yeah. It's honestly refreshing, all these people around us having meaningless sex all over all the time and for someone wanting to save it for something special  and someone they truly love and are going to spend the rest of their life with is really rare

Mike; yeah, I guess I never thought of it like that

Bill; yeah, me either.

Mike; that's sweet.

Mike; that you are willing to wait

Bill; I want her to be happy and not feel like I'm pressuring her in any way.

Mike; aww dude, you're tugging my heart strings. That's so sweet! The author should really put you in the book more

Bill; yeah, you're telling me. Lol