Sugar Daddy, Sugar Baby

Like Oxygen

Dan's hands began to sweat, and his mouth felt like an actual desert. He would rehearse nothing; what would be would be.

Still, he was incredibly nervous. It was a conversation that should have happened in person, though it was not an option at this point. Dan couldn't very well invite his parents into the home that he shared with Phil, his male partner and lover, putting everyone on the spot with the news of two, major, controversial, life decisions hanging in the air among them.

Had he managed the courage earlier, Dan would have arranged for a visit home. It would have been best to speak to his parents alone and in person, this he knew.

Still, anything was better than nothing at all. It was hard to imagine the dynamic should he have waited until the time of their visit; Dan decided that it would have been unforgivable.

While he resented the expectations that his family placed upon him and the assumptions that they made about his ambitions and sexuality in general, Dan recognized that the people who raised him did so with good intentions. They deserved the time and privacy to process the changes in their son's life.

It was entirely possible that they would embrace his decisions and support him regardless of the direction in which he was moving. Dan thought it unlikely, but Phil had engrained in him a sense of optimism, one that briefly alleviated his feelings of apprehension.

Dan pressed his lips together and wiped his sweaty palms over his thighs. He had a habit of jogging his right leg, and the table jiggled with his rapid movements. It made Dan feel less anxious to move this way, even if it was a bit distracting; it helped him to release a little nervous energy.

Phil seemed very pleased with the progress of the day's shoot. The actors had been dismissed, and Phil met with the camera crew privately. They watched the footage back, though Dan couldn't see the screen from his vantage point. Phil smiled and nodded, gesturing wildly with his hands. A slow smile spread across Dan's face. He was so proud of him. He wanted everything to line up with Phil's vision, and Dan knew his vision well. They spent many evenings talking about the way Phil wanted the viewer to feel. Dan knew that he wouldn't settle for anything that felt disingenuous or sloppy.

It was a love story between a young male couple who had been separated by circumstance and reunited twenty years later only to discover that they were still madly, deeply, in love. The lovers had long since resigned to the forces that had torn them apart and started lives with other people. The film was set to examine the tragedy of rediscovering true love with yet another obstacle between them. Phil needed to see raw emotion. He needed texture and history. Dan wanted Phil to feel as though his vision was coming to life without compromise.

Dan realized then that what he wanted for Phil superseded anything that he had ever wanted for himself. Phil's success was important to him, not because he wanted a part in it, but because he loved the man with every fiber of his being; he deserved this.

Suddenly, Dan's phone rang. He had nearly forgotten.

He looked for a private area and found one that would still allow him to see Phil and the crew.

"Hello Mum," Dan held the phone to his face. He hoped that they wouldn't become disconnected.

"Dan, are you alright? Are you ill? What's going on?" His mum spoke quickly; he could hear the anticipation in her voice.

"Mum, I'm fine...I'm well, really well actually. Please take a breath," Dan made an effort to speak slowly with the hope that his mum would follow.

"It's good to hear your voice. You don't call much anymore Dan. Grandma misses hearing from you...and so do I." There was a sadness that he didn't recognize; it pierced his heart and made it difficult for him to speak again.