Sorry •Muke•

Chapter 5 - Miles Away

I pack my bags and say goodbye to my wife for what seems like the millionth time. They said it get easier, but they lied She looks at me and says,

"Really, baby, I will be just fine."

But then she looks away so I don't have to see her cry, and that is when I ask myself,

How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be when I feel so alone? Cause I left my heart at home. She needs me, but I know they need me too. So, God, give me the strength to do what you created me to do.

Luke and I were sitting in the storage room, it was lunch and we were having a blast. Miles Away by Memphis May Fire was blasting through the small room as we sang along to it, him singing more than me but I still joined on some parts.

Really, I'm so thankfully for the people I meet, the places I've been, and the things I've seen, but when she's not here it doesn't feel like I'm living my dream. I know they say that no one is perfect, but I swear she's perfect for me and that makes it so much harder to leave.

Luke sang over the music. He smiled when he sang giving a better feel. His hips swayed back and forth and he spun on few occasions.

How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be when I feel so alone cause I left my heart at home? She needs me, but I know they need me too. So, God, give me the strength to do what you created me to do.

I sang this part, only I was with the music, not over it like Luke. My voice sounded weird and scratchy. I didn't really dance I just sat in my seat with my hands under my thighs.

If you miss me, I'm just a phone call away. Please be strong, be strong for me, I need you to show me how to change the inside of me. For my heart, for their sake, be strong, be strong for me. 

Luke grabbed one of my hands and pulled me toward him for this part. He put so much effort into it. Only there was something different about it. When he sang, it was like he really meant it. Like he wanted me to know he would always be there for me, and that he wanted me to be strong.

How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be when I feel so alone, so alone?

How am I supposed to be everything they expect me to be when I feel so alone, 'cause I left my heart at home? She needs me, but I know they need me too. So, God, give me the strength to do what you created me to do.

We sang the last part together, ending it on a high note. My voice cracked on it, only he thought it was a joke and laughed, I laughed along.

Every day for the next week was like this. We got closer and closer each day, and he actually started to get me to open up to him. I was actually happy for once in my life. 

The next morning was a train wreck. I woke up, and bad thoughts already swarmed my head. I looked down my body in the mirror, the scars were fading. Even the ones on my wrist, they were all fading, still there, but fading, it was a great feeling.

"Good morning, Mikey."

I smiled at my nickname. I jumped off the 4-bricks-high wall so I became closer to Luke's enormous height.

"Good morning, Lukey." 

He gave me a smile back, biting his lip ring which he had gotten quite a while back. 

On the bus ride to school, I sat with the jocks, with Luke in the seat next to me. Turns out, they were all really nice boys and had their little quirks and such. I also noticed quite a few strong connections between a few of them.