Sorry •Muke•

Chapter 25 - Give Me Novacaine

It had already been 5 days without Luke. I was high nearly 24/7 and I wouldn't put down the drugs. I couldn't help myself any more, I just wanted to not care. I just wanted to forget about Luke. And that's where the drugs came in. Sometimes I took stronger doses than Derek or whoever else was at the house which was probably dangerous but I didn't really care.

Every morning when I woke up, I would grab a cigarette off the nightstand and lite it. Then, I'd go downstairs, wait about an hour to wake up, grab some coffee which was always mixed in with alcohol, grab another cigarette. About noon I'd take a single pill which lasted a long time. I'd have another at 2:30 and another at 4. Then at 6 was usually when people came over and the actual drug taking would start. And that was every day for the past few days. 

I hopped out of bed and grabbed a cigarette off the nightstand. I lit it then made my way downstairs. Derek was sat downstairs on the couch. He was scrolling through his phone but paused to look over at me.

"No cigarette today?" I looked down at my hands and he was right, there wasn't a cigarette.

"I had one." I said looking around.

"Don't worry, you didn't drop it either. The drug you took last night was called Oxycodone and it sometimes has a side effects of seeing things that aren't there. It will only last for about an hour don't worry, you didn't take a whole lot of it." He said, going back to scrolling on his phone.

"Well, I need some." I grabbed a cigarette off the table and lit it. I exhaled the smoke before smoking once again, "I just want to forget about him."

He sighed and then turned off his phone. I sat down next to him and wrapped his arm around me.

"You know we aren't having anyone over tonight, so you wanna start now?" He asked. I nodded before he stood and grabbed 2 syringes from the kitchen. They were already filled with the liquid since it was left over from last night.

He slid it into his arm and then cringed slightly. Once he injected the drug he just smiled and exhaled. I put down my cigarette and then grabbed the syringe. I placed it against my arm but then I started to feel a burn.

"Michael! What are you doing?" I looked over at him before looking back down at my arm. The syringe was laying on the table while I held the lit cigarette in my hand, the burning paper was digging into my skin. I screamed before throwing it across the floor. 

Quickly I ran into the bathroom and splashed water on the burn. After cleaning it up as well as possible there would still be a nasty scar left. I then splashed water onto my face. When I looked into the mirror, my eyes were bright red.

Behind me stood Luke. Only when I turned he was gone. I let out a groan before drying off and heading back into the front room.

"You wanna try again?" Derek asked. I told him a firm no before leaving the house.

I raced down the street. I saw Luke's house that's when I stopped running. Everyday I came here and sat out front. I didn't knock on the door, or ring the door bell. I just sat on the pavement staring out the house.

What was Luke doing? He could be watching TV. He could be playing video games. He could be on Twitter or something like that. He could masturbating. It could be anything.

I then felt something wet on my cheeks, that's when I realized I was crying. I looked down and there was scratches all over my arms. Did something attack me?

I then saw blood under my nails, I scratched. I harmed myself, something I told Luke I wouldn't do. But I mean, I didn't mean to. I was just thinking, the drugs made me do it. 

That's when I realized, I was now addicted to drugs. For the past few days I blamed everything I did wrong on them. I was addicted to them now, I became addicted because I needed something to blame everything on.

"Why are your eyes bloodshot?" Drugs.

"Why do you have scratches on your arms?" Drugs.

"Why are your lips white?" Drugs.

"Why are you so skinny?" Drugs.

See my point? I was now addicted to them and it would be hard to break away from it.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Derek standing there.

"I thought you'd be here." He said, he helped me back onto my feet and I couldn't help but grab onto him. 

"I just want the pain to stop." I cried.

"I know, c'mon. Let's go back to my place. The syringe is still on the table." I nodded before letting go and the 2 of us made our way back to his.

I sat down on the old couch. I pulled out my headphones and plugged them into my phone. Give Me Novacaine started to play. I picked up the syringe and as soon as Bille Joe Armstrong started to sing I plunged the needle in my arm.

"Drain the pressure from the swelling

The sensations overwhelming"

I smiled as the drugs took over. I felt like the song fit, it was about all the pain and terrible things that were bring you down. But you numb it all. I mean there was a lot of different things the song could be about but I saw it as numbing the pain. Which is exactly what the drugs were doing for me, numbing the pain out of my life.

I clicked the repeat button before grabbing a cigarette of the table. I blew the smoke above me as I just closed my eyes and listened to the song while the drugs helped to erase Luke from my head.

"Tell me that I won't feel a thing, so give me Novacaine."

^^^^

Sorry it's so short.

This chapter goes out to MPiaSanchez, she was the one who told me to do a chapter inspired by this song. I'm so sorry if it sucked, even though I'm a massive Green Day fan, I hadn't heard this song before, well I'm sure I had but I just didn't memories it or bother to find out what it was about. I actually had to look it up and read the lyrics over and over so I guess I got my own interpretation from it. Sorry if it sucks. 

Anyways, I'm going to post another chapter later today (maybe) and that's going to have Luke in it! I actually kinda hated writing it, but it also kinda freaked me out as well. If you watch the video that goes along with it then you'll understand.

Anyways, please comment the name of a song and who it is by. I would love to see more songs commented, you don't have to explain it just comment it. And it could be a Ballad or a party song whatever, I'll managed to fit in it.

Thanks!

-Zoe