I Wouldn't Love You Enough // Harry Styles ✓ [wattys 2020]

24. Save me

☆Anna's POV☆

I crawl across the floor and get up with the help of a stand near by. Those same blue eyes watch me intently as I try to get away from him. He comes closer to help me stay steady but I stumble back more.

"Anna," He says calmly. "I wont hurt you. I promise."

"You promised that long back too, Luke."

"Let me help you."

I dont protest as he holds my hand and keeps me steady. He takes my cart and walks me slowly to the counter. He pays for my stuff even though I deny. He then walks me out of the super market. I instantly wear sunglasses and a beanie, not be recognised. He guides me to his car and opens the passenger door for me. I dont know why, but I get into the car. He starts the car and drives away. The car drive is silent. The colors are splashed beautifully in the sky.

"What is it?" Luke asks suddenly, breaking all the silence.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"Look Anna," He sighs. "I know something is bothering you, something is on your mind. I know you too well to know that. So tell me. Maybe I could help you out."

"I..." is all I say. And the tears come running back in.

"Oh god." Luke mutters.

I cry softly for about 5 minutes until the car comes to a hault. Luke opens the door and asks me to step out. He makes me follow him to a hotel room- where I assume he is staying right now. And yet again, I dont protest.

"Tell me. What is it?" He says as I sit down on the bed and wipe away my tears.

"I am dying." I simply say and shrugg. I see him visibly clenching his jaw.

"D-did he-"

"No." I cut him off. "He is not like you."

He laughs dryly. He walks to the nearby window and stares into distant space.

"Yes. He is not as stupid as I was." He says and sighs. "What happened then?"

"I dont want him to get hurt. So I told him that I forgot who he is and pretended to have a memory loss. He is really hurt, Luke. He must hate me now." I say and cry again.

Luke furrows his eyebrows as he takes in the information. I tell him the whole thing and he clenches his jaw more and more. Finally he sits across me on the couch.

"You are so stupid, Anneli-" He cuts himself off. "You shouldn't have done this. I'll tell you something, which I am pretty sure Harry didnt tell you."

I nod and wipe off my tears. I must look like a mess. Well, I am a mess.

"So, about 2 years ago when you and Harry weren't even together, he came to Los Angeles. Remember? He must have told you something related to his album." I nod, curiously. "Well, he also came to my house. I dont know how he found out where I live. But he came. I remember quite well what the conversation was. He said that he loves you. And that it hurts him to know that you dont love him back. He said that you were way too broken to love someone again. He wanted to love you but he couldn't. He loves you so much, Anna. Dont do this to him. He loves you way too much for him to control his feelings. Spend the... remaining time of your life with him. Let him love you till he can. And for you can love him back with as much as you have for the little you are left with."

"I can't." I say and my voice cracks. I bury my face in my hands and hear him sigh.

"Anna, do you understand how much he fucking loves you?" He shouts and I flinch. "You are doing the same mistake I did. And I tell you please do not do that because I regret what I did each and every day!"

I look up to his face to see him shaking with anger and eyes red. He blinks his eyes furiously to get rid of unwanted tears. I tugs on his hair. He does that a lot. The tears dont seem stop yet I collect myself and ask a question that I have been dreading to ask.

"You still love me, dont you?"

"Yes." He simply answered as if it would be completely fine to say that.

"Then why are you doing this?" I sniffle. "Why are you trying to push me back to Harry?"

"I want you to be happy. And he is your happiness. Not me." He said.

"But I am dying. It wouldnt matter."

"Stop fucking saying that!" She screams suddenly. I flinch and start whimpering again.

"Luke..." I say while still crying. I fist the sheets in my palm as hard as possible. We dont share a word after that. The only sound audible to my ears is the tick tock of the clock and my ragged breathing.

"I want you to listen." Luke says, now a lot more calmly. "Tell me, Anna, truthfully, how did you feel when I left you? Do you hate me for that?"

"Lu," I sniffle.

"Answer me."

"Yes."

"Yes what?" He banged his hand on the wall.

"Yes. I hated you!" I shout.

"Then dont you hate yourself?"

"What?" I look up, confused.

"You are no innocent than me. You are doing the exact same thing I did. You are leaving him, just like I left you." He says. "If you hate me, you hate yourself."

"Shut the fuck up, Luke!" I scream. "I shall do what I want. Dont try to tell me what to do!"

"Anna," Luke says, his voice suddenly low and calm. "You should go to sleep."

I simply nod and crawl my way up to the headboard. I laid down and watched Luke as he gathered his cushions and sat down on the little couch. I tugged myself and closed my eyes eventhough I knew I would not be able to sleep.

The words from the earlier conversation lingered in my head and I could do absolutely nothing to keep them out. Luke had told me that Harry had literally tracked him down to ask him what was wrong with me. He really loved me. And I was a stupid. Tears were rolling down my cheeks but I didnt make a sound.

Sure, I was still alive. But it didnt feel that way. Without him, I was dead inside.

It was in these thoughts that I had cried myself to sleep. But when I heard a loud bang on the door of Luke's hotel room, I was wide awake. I looked around hastily. Luke was up and was rubbing his eyes to get rid of the sleep.

I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my head and pressed my hand against my forehead. Luke came closer and asked if I needed anything. I simply pointed at my bag. He got it for me and I grabbed the tablets out of it and gulped them down with some water. Just as I did that, I heard banging on the door again. This time louder. The person outside the door was probably yelling something but nothing could be heard and the person's voice was muffled and low.

"Hold your horses!" Luke yelled. He made his way to the door and opened it.

I held my head which still had a slight pain. I lifted up my head to see Luke as he opened the door. He had a questioning yet surprised look on his face as if the police were about to raid his hotel room. I raised my eyebrows at him when he looked at me. He moved away from the door and gestured the person to come. And when he did, my eyes went wide and my jaw dropped.

"Harry?"