I Wouldn't Love You Enough // Harry Styles ✓ [wattys 2020]

25. I wouldn't love you enough

☆Anna's POV☆

"Harry?"

The man infront of me looked nothing like the Harry I knew. His jeans were dirty. His t-shirt looked shabby and wrinkled. His shoulders are slumped. My eyes then travel to his face. His hair is sticking out in different directions. His skin looks pale. And his eyes. They are red and lifeless, an exact replica of mine.

"So you do remember him, huh?" My eyes move away from Harry's to land on Aura's. I opened my mouth to speak something but nothing came out. "Why are you doing this, Anna?"

There was a deep silence in the room. My eyes were now staring back into Harry's green ones, pretending to be nonchalant. The look on his face gave it away that he knew all of my stupid plan, and clearly was hurt. I was holding back tears at the sight of him. I never had cried so much and wasnt going cry infront of him. I had to keep myself strong. I heard Luke take a sharp breath. And from the corner of my eye I saw him rubbing his eyes and then he stormed out of the room, dragging Aura behind. She tries to protest but he drags her anyway and shuts the door.

In the pitch silence, I see tears forming in Harry's eyes. He takes a small step forward, slowly. He limps in his movement. He takes another step and is extremely close to the bed when he collapsed on the floor. I jump in my place. And then come the tears, running down both of our cheeks. His eyes never leave mine.

"You lied. You said you loved me." He states, his voice trembling. "What did I ever do wrong?"

"You need nothing wrong, Harry." My voice comes out strained. "You are too perfect for me."

"Bullshit!" He screams. "You dont love me!"

"I do, Harry. I do. So much that I cannot even explain it. Love is a very weak word to explain my feelings for you!" I slide off the bed and sit next to him on the floor, too scared to touch him.

"Then, why, Anna? Why did you do this?"

"Because I dont want to hurt you."

"You did that already." He says softly. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because I promised you that I wont leave you, Harry. But fate has something else in mind. I dont want you to know that I wont be the one to love you. Because I am dying, Harry! And I wouldn't love you enough! I wouldnt be the one to wipe off your tears. I wouldnt be the one to hold you close at night. I wouldnt be the one to laugh at your jokes. I wouldnt be the one to love you all through your life." My voice breaks and my vision blurs as tears fog my eyes. He doesnt speak anything, only stares and I continue.

"When I say I love you more, I dont love you more than you love me. I love you more than the bad days ahead of us. I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than any obstacle that would come between us. I love you the most."

He speaks nothing. He just stares at me. His bottom lip is quivering and his eyes are flooded with tears. He inhales deeply and opens his arms. Without any hesitation I swing myself into his arms. He holds me tight, as if never to let go. I feel him plant a kiss on top of my head.

His hand rubs slowly on my back and I cry. I cry like this is my last day. And he just holds me close.

After a few minutes, my sobs are under control. Harry's fingers carress my short hair softly. I still have my hands interwined behind his back. A few minutes later we hear the door open slightly and I catch a glimpse of Luke before he shuts the door again.

"I love you, Anna. And I am never letting go off you." He says lowly.

"I love you, too." I say softly against his chest. "But I am not sure if I will be here with you for the rest of your life."

"Anna,"

"Harry, the tumor is large. I cant live anymore. I cant."

"Its going to be okay, darling." He says and rubs my back softly.

I feel tears prick my eyes for the millionth time and I hold on to him so tight as if all my life depends on him. He kissed the top of my head.

"Do you want to go home?" He asks softly. "You dont have to if you dont want to."

"I want to. I want to spend as much time as possible with you until-"

"Shh." He cuts me off. "Lets go."

He slowly breaks the embrace and stands up from the floor. He bends down and his arms snakes its way under my knees and neck. He carefully picks me up and I put my arms around him and nuzzle my head into his neck. He swiftly manages to open the door and we walk outside the hotel room.

I see Aura, Luke, Niall, Louis, Zayn, Liam, Gigi, Cheryl, Hailee, Eleanor and Ken sranding in the hallway. All of their faces snap towards us as we enter the hallway. All of them wear worried expressions on their faces. I shut my eyes close to avoid any unnecessary conversations with anyone right now. I just want to get home.

"Guys, we are heading home." Harry says and they all nod understandingly.

Harry lightly places me in the passenger seat and jogs around to the driver's seat. He turns on the ignition and we drive home.

"You have to tell me stuff." Harry says suddenly. "You cant hide stuff from me like this. You know I care about you a lot. I am going to be the first one to know if anything ever happens again. Okay?"

"How much life am I even left with to do that?" I say, lowly.

"Anna, stop fucking saying that!" He snaps.

"Why? Truth is always bitter. Accept it, Styles. The truth is that I am dying and you cant stop that. The truth is that you should have never loved me in the first place." I say, violently

"Why cant you just get over the fact that you are the only one that I seem to love and care about? You love me too and you know that. Why are you ruining what he had for so long?"

"I am not. I just... I dont want you to get hurt. Because that's what I seem to do to every single person I ever meet in my life." I say. My bottom lip is quivering and my hands are shaking in my lap. Tears sting my eyes but I dont seem to feel anything.

"Anna," Harry simply says and pulls into the parking lot. He opens the door for me and I step out. He doesmt take my bags. He just firmly holds my hand and takes me into the house. He guides me to the bedroom and makes me sit on the edge of the bed. He grabs both of my shaky hands into his large warm ones. He kneels down infront of me and kisses the back of my palms. He lightly tugs on my hands and pulls me closer. He places a soft kiss on my lips. His lips linger there for a few seconds before he pulls away. His green eyes look into mine with great intensity. His hands travel to my back and he pulls me in for a low hug. His head nuzzles into my stomach and I quitely giggle. I feel him smile against my stomach.

"I want you to know that I love you."

***
CAN SOMEONE BELIEVE THAT ITS BEEN 1000 DAYS WITHOUT ONE DIRECTION?! IT FEELS AS IF THEY WERE MADE A BAND JUST YESTERAY. SISKSB.