I Wouldn't Love You Enough // Harry Styles ✓ [wattys 2020]

33. Truth

☆Anna's POV☆

"Help me up." I said to Harry who peeped into the room.

He came in anf held my arms while I sat up. I laid my head on his chest. I could hear his calm heartbeat. I started feeling nauseous again.

"Hurts." I whimpered.

"I know it does." He replied in his soothing voice.

"Take me to the bathroom." I requested. I knew I was going to throw up the second time now. I threw up all my remains contents into the toilet. I slid down the wall. He mimicked me.

"I am sorry." I said and tears welled up in my eyes.

"Anna." Harry says sternly.

"I am dying, Harry." I cried. I couldnt contain myself. 'The symptoms are here."

"I love you." He simply said and hugged me. I laid my head on his shoulder and cried.

"Everything hurts."

"I am sorry." He said.

"Can you go meet Dr. Steve and get more if my medicines?" I asked.

"Of course, love. Will you be okay on your own?" He asked. I nodded.

He walked me to the room and got ready. He waved me goodbye before walking to his car. I got up from my position and looked out of the window. I saw the wheels of his car rolling and his car zoomed off.

As soon as his car went out of sight I rushed to the bathroom. I took the stool and climbed to the reach the highest cabinet. I opened it and searched through it. I sighed as soon as I found what I was looking for. I got down from the stool and closed my eyes. Hoping for the best.

I tore the plastic wrapper and took out the pregnancy test. I did all of what I was instructed to do.

I sat on the toilet seat, shaking my leg violently. I had my eyes closed and I murmured numerous 'please's.

I opened my eyes slowly to look at the stick. And as soon as I did, tears blocked my vision. I threw the stick across the bathroom and lay my head in my hands.

My breathing was erratic and quiet sobs escaped my lips. I didnt know what to do. Most of the women would be happy to be pregnant. Not me. Because I couldnt give birth to this child. What would I tell Harry?

I breathed in deeply, trying to calm myself down. I had known this would happen. The symptoms were all there. But I didnt want to believe it.

I sighed and went across the bathroom to pick up the stick that I had thrown away moments ago. I wrapped it in trash paper and threw it in the dustbin so that no one would know. I didnt want Harry to know that I took a pregnancy test. I walked out anc washed my hands before going to the kitchen.

I know I had promised Harry not to hide anything from him. But I didnt want to break his heart over again. I know he would say that its okay, that I need not worry or that I should look out for myself first. But I know that he would get up in the middle of the night and sob until his whole face is red.

I decide on making something simple for lunch. I start dicing up veggies. I start thinking about our future if I werent to die. We would have a little child by the next 9 months. I didnt know its gender yet. But I wanted it to have Harry's eyes and his brown curls. He would really spoil the child. It would be the luckiest one on the earth.

Tears start breaming my eyes again. I place the knife down and try to calm myself but fail miserably when the tears come running down anyway. I heard Harry's car and immediately rub off all the tears from under my eyes and go back to chopping my celery. I heard him enter.

"Oh. You are home." I said without looking back. "Why dont you go take a shower?"

He came up behind me and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Why dont you come and take a shower with me?"

I could not control my sobs and involuntarily sniff. Harry turned me around to make me look at him but I hung my head low.

"Anna,"

I didnt move. He lifted my head up.I looked into his concerned eyes. The love and care in his eyes just made me cry even more. Why does he care for me? Why does he love me? He could get any girl he wanted. But he went for me. What did I ever do to deserve him?

"Why are you crying?"

"I was chopping onions."

"Thats not the truth." He cupped my cheeks. "Tell me. What's bothering you?"

I made up my mind. I thought about telling him right there and there. He would know why I have been having morning sickness all these days. He would know that I am carrying his baby. He would know that I wouldnt be able to give birth to his baby. I decided on that. I opened my mouth to tell him that I am pregnant.

"Everything Harry. Everything. I cant handle this anymore. The fact that I know I am dying gives me chills. I dont want to die, Harry. I love you." I instead said. I couldnt. I just couldnt.

"Anna, I know you dont want to." I bury my face in his chest, not being able to lie right to his face another time. "Why dont we just go and shower?"

"Nice way to make a sad moment sexy." I giggled with my eyes full of tears. He has an effect on me. He pressed a lingering kiss on my lips.

"Go get the water warmed up. I'll get the towels."

---

"Wanna take a nap?" Harry asked me after the shower.

"Yes. Surely." I sighed. I wanted nothing more than Harry's arms wrapped around me.

I entered the room after Harry to see him wearing his boxers. He threw his shirt in my direction. I smiled to myself knowing that he knew full well that I would wear his shirt. I pulled it over my head.

We both lied in bed right after. I nuzzled her head into his chest while his arm went around my waist and he lie on his back. We both stared at the ceiling. Comfortable silence engulfed us and we both lied there, listening to each other's breathing.

"Harry?" I quite asked.

"Yeah?"

"What will you do when I am gone?" I dare to ask.

"I will write songs about you. And miss you 24/7. I honestly dont even know what life was even before I met you." He smiles at me.

"Good night, Harry."

"Good night, love."

---

It had been three months since I found out that I was pregnant. I had went to the doctor to get my first sonogram. She said that it was a boy. I remember breaking down infront of the doctor. She had asked me if I wanted to call my husband. I had replied a a no and she said that she would leave me alone in the room for me to calm down. I couldnt calm down, though. I had composed myself as much as I could.

When I looked back at the screen all I could whisper was 'Ansel'. The name Harry wanted to keep the child if it was a boy. I had cried to myself a little more before calling the doctor in. She gave me the picture of the little baby and I had come back home.

When I looked in the mirror now, I noticed a little bunp forming. And each single day, I hoped that Harry didnt notice.

I couldnt keep this from him forever. But everytime I looked into those eyes if his, I couldnt. Its like they had me weak. So I decided to write a letter. An apologetic and truthful letter. Just letting him know all the truth.

And I set the truth free.