My Crush | ksj

15 - Hurt

"Are you absolutely insane?", Jimin gripped my arm, refusing to let me enter the cafeteria.

"I won't let him be dominant anymore", I hissed, finally freeing myself. If I chickened out of this again, nothing would ever change. I fixed my clothes, wanting to look absolutely flawless. Not for Taehyung, for the other people at the table.

Jimin shrugged, his eyes signalling that he thought I was absolutely out of my mind "Hayoon, I love and support you, but are you SURE?", he tried to convince me one last time. My best friend was the voice of reason as always. For a split second, I wanted to just spend lunch as usual, to avoid confrontation. But I quickly pushed those thoughts aside.

I nodded "I can't do nothing anymore, especially if I want to protect Jungkook"

My best friend bit his lip. The second that Yoongi had laid eyes upon his step-brother he had dragged him away to see a doctor. Apparently Jungkook had sneaked in and out of the house as to not worry his family. Without success, obviously.

"Then go", Jimin nodded slowly, worry plastered over his face "text me if it goes wrong"

So this was it. The day that I stopped letting Taehyung do as he pleased. My body should have been upright, radiating dominance. But it felt as if every ounce of confidence had left my body the second I stepped into the cafeteria. Voluntarily spending time with Taehyung was nothing I ever wanted to do. I took a deep breath. This was for Jungkook and mine's safety. No excuses. With as much grace as possible, I walked over to my destination.

Taehyung looked up, confused for a moment before remembering our encounter. He forced a smile onto his face, but I swore that it also showed a hint of anxiety.

"Hey, Oppa. How were your lessons?", I squeezed next to him. All of his friends threw us weirded out looks but that was the plan.

My boyfriend paused eating for a moment before answering with an indifferent expression "I didn't go"

Of course. I giggled – way girlier than usual – and grabbed his arm. It felt weird, being this close to him. Taehyung never held me, he only touched me for his own pleasure. Maybe that's why I felt like I missed him. My stomach turned and I had to remind myself: No; the one I missed was the idolised version I had created of him in my mind. But that wasn't Taehyung.

"You do know that he has a girlfriend?", one of the guys chimed in, clearly satisfied with his condescending remark.

I blinked, the smile on my face frozen in place "That's me. I'm Boo Hayoon"

Taehyung's friends left their mouths hanging open. Deep down I knew that he never talked about me but this hurt a bit more than I expected. Of course, I was just a nuisance to my boyfriend.

He cleared his throat, putting down his sandwich "We've been together for one and a half year"

I was surprised that Taehyung even kept track of the time. I was about to side-hug him as part of my show, but his addition to the sentence made me forget that. He scoffed "Unfortunately"

The other boys growled, some snorting out their drinks and slamming their hands onto the table. Even though I felt my eyes getting watery, I took a deep breath and smiled even more.

"Aw come on, I'M the one who's stuck with your small dick!"

Taehyung whirled to the side, harshly grabbing my wrist, but before he could do anything, his friends started hollering, demanding his attention.

Satisfied, I took his juice packet and started sipping it.

One of the boys turned to me, patting my arm "It's good to hit back at him sometimes", he grinned.

"Oh Jeonghan, shut up", Taehyung moaned and got back to devouring his sandwich, a tiny bit of insecurity in his eyes.

During the remaining lunch break, I kept making remarks, slowly warming up to my boyfriend's squad, although ninety percent of them were even bigger assholes than him. Luckily, my acting skills were trained through the last 18 months of my relationship with Taehyung. I despised myself for this behaviour, even though it was fake. But Taehyung was the one who pushed me this far in the first place.

As I left the cafeteria for my next lesson, I couldn't help but feel as if he stared at me. I kept taking deep breaths, trying to calm down my sense of guilt and disgust. My body rebelled against my actions. The stairs to the third floor seemed endless so I was kind of thankful for receiving a message – a reason to take a short break.

In hindsight, I shouldn't have looked at my phone.

Tae 💘
"I'm sorry. I never meant to make you hate me so much"

A/N: AYYYY hey there, this was one of the harder chapters to write bc it's difficult to insult a fictional character based on someone you like 🤔 anyway I hope you enjoyed! what's your opinion on tae's message? 👀 I wish everyone who reads this a beautiful day! 💚