My Crush | ksj

30 - Memories

A/N: GUYS, yesterday was absolutely insane with the new releases. RM's mixtape is SO good, I feel like it really represents him as an artist and I'm glad that he's found his style ♥ If you haven't already, please check out 'I am YOU' by Stray Kids, it's their 3rd (mini) album and self produced and written! My personal favourites are the title track 'I am YOU', 'N/S' and '0325' - it's also out on Spotify so take a listen! And lastly, Monsta X also released their new album and the title track 'Shoot Out' is such a bop! Enough of my fangirling, please enjoy this chapter ♥

"Here you go, my angel", my mother placed the bowl of soup on the table, a caring smile on her face.

I thanked her and continued staring into nothingness. My appetite was completely absent. Jimin pushed the bowl closer to me, wiggling his eyebrows "It's your favouriteeeeee... mhm"

"Your aegyo isn't gonna help this either, you know", Jungkook frowned at my best friend's actions.

"Shut it, I'm trying to get her to eat something for once", he hissed at the younger one.

I cleared my throat "You know I can hear you, right?", I leant my head onto my hands.

"Yes we do, but you're not exactly participating in the conversation", Jungkook stretched his hands and took a look around the restaurant. We had just opened but it was still too early for customers to trickle in.

I bit my lip, returning to the topic "I'm busy with regretting my decisions". It sounded harsher than I intended. Frustrated, I swirled the spoon around the bowl. My friends were just trying to help me and I had nothing better to do than being mean. Not even my problems were an excuse for it.

"Stop taking the entire blame. Seokjin sure as hell messed up, too", Jimin put a hand onto my shoulder, his loving eyes meeting mine "and he will understand your situation, even if I have to scream everything that happened at him until he gets it"

I smiled weakly "Thanks, Jimin"

"Hey, I'm helping, too", Jungkook pouted. I simply answered him with a flick to the forehead.

~ Seokjin POV ~

It was weird. Everything from kissing that girl whose name I forgot, walking up the stairs to find Hayoon on top of Taehyung to running away with his phone, up to simply leaving Hayoon in the snow. I would've never thought of both of us being such cowards. Because that's what we were, scared of putting up a fight and changing things. And worse, we were afraid of being together. I kept replaying the evening in my head until it was burned into my mind. But with each second passing, other memories invaded my thoughts, happy ones.

** "That sounds nice, Seokjin", she replied, finally dropping the stupid suffix.

It was unfair, this wasn't what was important right now.

** I let go with one last whisper "I'd rather shut you up with my lips next time"

I still meant what I told her that very day.

** She turned to me "What about you, Jin-oppa?". I blinked. She had NEVER called me that before. Her hazel eyes sparkled, clearly amused at my confused look. "Shouldn't I call you that?", her pretty head tilted to the side. I opened my mouth, only to close it again. My brain had lost the ability to think of a response.

My heart fluttered thinking of her smile.

** "We have forever to do that. And I will wait for you, even if it really takes that long"

I broke that promise. It was the only thing I could give Hayoon and I managed to mess it up. My stomach turned. How could I blame her for not believing in me anymore?

** "Do you think I'm that dumb? And don't even say you still give a shit about my pictures on Tae's phone, you just stole it for Namjoon's sake"

Wait, what? Was I that invested in my self-pity that I never noticed Hayoon's mention of Namjoon? I finally got up from the couch and picked up my phone.

"Namjoon, we need to talk"

A/N: smol leak that I've finished this story and the drafts are ready to be released, there are two chapters left!