REPUTATION ⍉ jack avery | why don't we

CHAPTER 12: uncertain choices

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             Davina would sometimes sit on her bed, doing nothing but staring at the ceiling and contemplating about past memories, even those bad memories. She always imagined what it would be like if things turned out differently, would she have been happy at Richmond High. Would she still be friends with Cade and Jack? She didn't know if she wanted things to be different. The move lead her to meet someone like a brother to her, Zach, and meet friends that cared about her. But even though she was happy now, she still felt like she couldn't let go of those memories and be completely happy with herself.

             There she sat on the couch, her gaze locked on her hands. She was sitting in a familiar room with a woman across from her— Amy Ansel. Amy Ansel was a gentle woman in her middle thirties and she cared deeply for the young girl. She was her therapist, someone Davina came to talk to four times a week.

             At first, Davina hated the idea of therapy when her parents suggested it. She didn't want to confess her feelings to a total stranger and then let them give her advice on how to make things better. As she continued to go, she became closer with Amy and became fond of her kind and caring personality. She didn't mind going after that, talking to someone and them listening actually made her feel better.

             Amy asked her a question, which she wasn't listening to. Her mind was foggy with thoughts and scenarios running through her head. She contemplated for a while if she wanted to confess what she had been thinking about the past weeks.

             "Davina?" Amy snapped her out of her state and Davina blinker a few times, then focusing her gaze on the woman in front of her.

             She opened her mouth, but closed it, unsure of the words that she wanted to say. "I've just been doing some thinking these past few weeks." She stated and Amy tilted her the side, nodding for her to continue. "Its been a long time since everything has happened, almost 3 years. I have amazing friends and I'm more comfortable in my body, but I still feel incomplete."

             "And, why is that?"

             "When I was getting bullied and tore down, I didn't fight back. I just wish I stood up to them, show them I was stronger than letting them do that to me. I feel that I can't completely move on until I've faced my demons, until I've stood up to her." Davina watched as Amy nodded, understanding what she was coming from.

             "Now, you don't have to agree with this." Amy started off, unsure of Davina's reaction. "You're going into your senior year after this summer, right?" Davina nodded her head. "What do you think of going back to Richmond High for your senior year?"

             Davina furrowed and contemplated for a moment. Go back to Richmond High? Would she be able to handle seeing Elliana again? What if she let her treat her horrible again? But Davina wasn't the same person she was three years ago, she knew that. She was stronger, healthier and more resilient.

             "Well Zach isn't going to spend his junior year with me, him being with his band and becoming huge. It wouldn't be the same without him anyway." Davina stated, reciting the positives that were in her head. "And I would get to see my old friends again."

             "Maybe even mend some relationship problems?" Amy suggested and Davina looked her, knowing well what she was talking about.

             "I could finish where I started, I guess." Davina nodded, "Yeah, I actually think I wanna go back."

             When Davina came home after her counsel session, her mind was full of uncertainty. What if things didn't go into plan and everything became bad again? But what if she could finally show her strength to Elliana and show that she didn't get to her anymore? She could rekindle her relationships that she left abruptly.

             Mrs Stanton could notice that Davina's mind was full, clear in her facial expression when she entered the home. She could sense her nervousness and knew something had happened. She made her famous hot chocolate and put it in front of her daughter, who was sitting on the high chair with her elbows propped up on the marble counter. Davina looked at her mother as she stood in front of her on the other side of the counter. She smiled and thanked her softly.

             "What's on your mind sweetie?" Mrs Stanton asked.

             "I was with Amy, as you know, and I told her what has been on my mind lately. She suggested something that could possibly make me feel better, but it means going back to Pennsylvania, and going to Richmond High for my senior year." Davina explained, biting her lip as she anxiously waited for her mother to respond. She had no idea how her mother could respond, she didn't even know if her mom would allow her to go back.

             "You want to go back?" Her mom asked and Davina nodded. Before her mother could speak again, which Davina thought she would make an excuse for her not to go, she interrupted her.

             "—I'm better now. I want to go because I want to show Elliana that she can't treat me the way she did. I just feel like I can't completely move on until I've stood up to her and faced her without being scared. The more I run away and hide and avoid my problems, I'm gonna be scared my whole life, mom. I don't want her to win and potentially ruin my life even more." She let out a small sigh after and looked her mother pleadingly.

             Mrs Stanton looked at her daughter with a blank expression, but then gave her a small smile. She engulfed her into a hug then pulled away and put her warm hands on Davina's cheek. "You're certain?" Davina once again nodded with a smile, "You can go. I'm so proud of you for being so brave to face your problems." Mrs Stanton pulled her daughter into another hug and they stayed like that for a while.

             But a burst of sudden nervousness ran through Davina's body. Three years wasn't that long for everything to have changed and be different, right?