Songs for this chapter:
The scientist- Coldplay
All I want- Kodaline
Chasing cars- Snow Patrol
Jersey- Mayday Parade
Fire- Sleeping With Sirens
I couldn't breathe. It was like someone had punched my really hard in the stomach. The paparazzi man was just smiling evilly, watching as my heart shattered like a broken glass. I turned around, the pictures still in my hand and walked to the door, abandoning my basket of shopping at one of the aisles. I walked straight out and headed for the car. I wasn't crying. I just sat there looking blankly into space until the car stopped outside the arena where the bus was parked. I didn't even think about what I was doing. I just got out and stormed into the bus.
The boys were all sitting where I left them. My eyes landed on Luke and he looked up as i walked into the room. His face lit up and a smile spread across his face. Normally i would've melted beneath his stare but this time all I felt was a darting pain in my chest. The look on his face faded from a smile to a concerned frown when he saw that I wasn't smiling back.
"Alexa?" He asked. I was torn between bursting into tears and attacking him. He put his xbox controller down and stood up. "What's wrong?". He walked towards me while the other 3 watched. He reached out and tried to grab my hand but I didn't even flinch.
"Don't fucking touch me" i said in a hoarse voice. Tears pooled in my eyes making them glossy and my vision blurred. His face was totally confused. His eyes were wide and he just stood there looking pitiful.
"What happened?" He asked me. God he was good. He really looked like he didn't know what was wrong. He wasn't fooling me though.
"Don't act like you don't know" i rasped. I was holding it together well. I hadn't screamed yet. But I had never been this angry, and I knew the tears were coming next. He looked totally confused. Maybe even a little scared. I would be scared of me too.
"I'm sorry... I don't" he mumbled shaking his head slightly. The other guys were staring at me like I was some kind of crazy woman.
"You're not sorry" i said with a laugh, even though nothing about this was even slightly funny. His eyes travelled down to the pictures I was holding. He took them from me and glanced at them. His eyes widened and his mouth fell open. He almost looked shocked... Still confused.
"What... Where... Where did you get these?" Luke asked. I laughed again. God maybe I was crazy. I sounded it.
"Get out" i told him calmly. He looked at me, bewildered. He didn't move.
"I said GET THE FUCK OUT LUKE!" I screamed.
"Alexa where did you get these?" Luke asked as Calum rose from his spot on the couch. "These aren't real!" He protested.
"LIAR!" I screamed again. Calum stepped in between us his chest heaving with fury.
"What did you do?" He asked Luke his eyes filled with rage and hatred.
"NOTHING!" Luke yelled back.
"YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T HURT HER!" Calum roared and before Luke could respond, Calum's fist collided with his nose. The smack sound rose Michael from his position in the lounge and he grabbed Calum by the bicep, dragging him away.
I turned to face Luke again. His nose had started to drip scarlet blood but he looked as gorgeous as ever. That's what made it so hard to be angry at him... I was hopelessly in love with him. He was so confused looking.
"Alexa" he said pleadingly. It took my last piece of strength to turn my head away from him and say, "Go away Luke".
So he did. I watched in slow motion, as he walked out the door. It was what I had asked him to do, yet it still hurt so much. All of this hurt so much. I just wanted to scream or hit something. When he had left there was silence for a long time. Nobody talked. The boys sat on the couches and I just stood there in the same place, staring at the wall.
After a while Ashton mumbled something about a store and left Michael left with him. Then it was just Cal and me. Eventually Calum was the first to speak.
"I told you you were too good for him" Calum said in a low voice. Im not sure if he even intended for me to hear it.
"SHUT UP" i screamed at him. "Shut up Calum! Just shut up!" I was bawling and screaming at him at the same time. He just sat there staring at me. I was out of line, i knew that, but there was no part of me that was feeling sympathetic that night.
"ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?" I roared. Then i stopped. I swallowed deeply and looked at my feet. "You finally got what you wanted. Yeah... We're done. He's done".
The tears rolled down my face, my makeup smudging down my cheeks. Calum stood up and reached out to touch my arm but i pulled away, like his touch was electric and i didn't want to be shocked.
"Alexa..." He said his eyes filled with confusion and sadness.
"No" i snapped, not looking at him. Calum left then. He went out of the bus and closed the door behind him so i was really truly alone.
I sunk to the ground, my back against the wall, sitting in a heap of tears and messy hair. I let out an animalistic sound and then screamed, letting myself cry loudly as i wanted.
